Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

There are a lot of things in the world to worry about: crime rates, the failing economy, your receding hairline and the overall decline of western civilization, to name but a few. Worry about the zombie apocalypse, or the H1N1 flu, or aliens coming to earth to harvest your organs for their intergalactic fast food franchises. Whatever you do, don’t lose any sleep worrying about how dirty your rental car may be. First, that’s why they make soap and water, and second, Nietzsche had it right: if it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you stronger. Suck it up, travel with some antibacterial wipes if you’d like and quit your whining.

Hell, I’d take a rental car full of vomit and strep over the ones I usually get. Why do old women feel the need to apply perfume to their cleavage with a garden sprayer? Every time I’ve had a rental in the last decade, I come out smelling like the sheets in a French whorehouse. THAT makes my skin crawl way more than any bacteria.