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Towing 5,500 Pounds With A Goldwing Is A Stupid Way To Die

Posted in Bizarre, Death Wish, Honda, Motorcycle by Kurt Ernst | September 24th, 2010 | 3 Responses |

Photo: Coming Through

I’m not really afraid of dying, but I am concerned about dying in an epically stupid manner. I go to great lengths to avoid being killed by other people’s stupidity, and I generally think twice about doing something that would put my own life in danger. First, I ask myself, “is it necessary?, usually followed by “is it fun?”. If the answer is “yes” to both questions, then I proceed with caution.

There are some things that may be necessary, but they certainly aren’t fun. General surgery falls into this category, as does towing something that weighs five times what your tow vehicle does. Autoblog stumbled across something called The Retriever, brainchild of a Swedish company called Coming Through. The Retriever is the ultimate in accessories for your Goldwing 1800, because it allows you to tow up to 5,500 pounds with your bike. Why settle for a pop up camper when you can tow a luxurious travel trailer behind your ‘Wing? Don’t want to put on a helmet to go to dinner? Just tow your car behind the ‘Wing and drive to dinner in air conditioned comfort.

As you’d expect, The Retriever comes with a whole bunch of disclaimers. Maximum speed, for example, is 20 mph. I’d also expect that Coming Through strongly discourages you from attempting to climb or descend hills of any size, which kind of limits the where you can use it. Also, you lose the ability to carry a passenger, at least on your ‘Wing.

The Retriever isn’t really meant for the general public, and that’s a good thing. Instead, it’s meant to give recovery companies a traffic-friendly way of dispatching tow vehicles. Long distance towing isn’t what The Retriever is meant for; instead, it’s good enough to get a stalled or wrecked car out of traffic and to a nearby parking lot. I suppose you could use it for vehicle repossessions as well, but that fits into my “stupid ways to die” category. Towing a repo’d car at 20 miles per hour gives a disgruntled former owner way too much time to grab a rifle, and I seriously doubt that rear partition is bulletproof.

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3 Responses

  1. inthebuff says:

    No really…a tow bike? That’s so funny. Wonder how many they’re going to sell…one? Two?

  2. Nads says:

    Another FAIL!!!

  3. Kurt says:

    So you guys don’t want to invest in my new Goldwing towing company?