The 1960’s gave birth to many wonderful things. We put a man on the moon, muscle cars were invented and someone out there invented the electric can opener. It was a time of technology and forward thinking, but somewhere along the lines hippies came into being, and well… that was just plain annoying. They were dirty, stinky and drove bad cars and what was even more annoying than that was that they gave birth to other little hippies who grew up to also drive bad cars. It’s a travesty I know, but one that we can’t avoid. Below is a short list of modern day hippie cars that have the capacity to make the performance car enthusiast want to slice their own wrists.
• Toyota Prius
We all know that Prius drivers want to save the planet. We also know that they love stuffing their ideals down the throats of other motorists. Keep in mind however that this doesn’t change the fact that the Prius is one of the crappiest cars on the road and that most car enthusiasts would rather dip their genitals in boiling vinegar then be seen driving one.
• Volkswagen Bus
It’s the original stoner-mobile and has helped generations of pot smokers get their wings. They’re built like a shoebox, painfully slow and ugly as sin, but that doesn’t change the fact that millions of hippies the world over see these little German tubs as the end all, be all of the hippie nation.
• Subaru Outback
A favorite of the old hippie crowd, the Outback is the car for those who want to seem politically correct in today’s world. It’s well built and versatile with just a hint of rebellion built into it. It’s no VW Bus mind you, but make no mistake, roll the windows up in this baby and you can toke it up with the best of them.
• Volkswagen Jetta Diesel Wagon
The Jetta Diesel Wagon is the car of choice for those young urban hipsters who think that driving a diesel will help them save the planet because a marketing team told them so. Sure it’s fuel efficient and will get you looks of praise from old toasted hippies throughout the world, but dear God, enough already.
• Nissan Leaf
Say hello to Nissan’s all electric mess of a car. It’s slow, will leave you stranded and at the end of the day, has an electric range of about 6 blocks. The real good hippies out there will tell you its the greatest thing since sliced bread and that we should all be driving electric vehicles. However they always fail to remember that these little suckers came over to the U.S. on boats that dole out more CO2 emissions than the entire state of New York…