At Memphis International Airport, a bicycle sporting a sticker reading “This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb” parked outside of Terminal C was spotted by an airline pilot and reported to the authorities under suspicion of terrorist activity. After evacuating the area and summoning the K-9 unit to investigate for explosives, police determined that the bike was not an explosive, but, rather, just another counter-culture punk rock band attempting to be edgy and unique. According to reports, “This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb” is an underground band based in Pensacola, Florida, whose stickers have caused similar bomb scares at college campuses and public buildings across the U.S.
Although the threat in Memphis was eventually resolved, police took the bike’s owner into custody and currently evaluating whether or not to charge him. Unfortunately, there are no laws on the books preventing a citizen from being an unwashed, disenfranchised, long-haired, pot-smoking, dumbass; so it is not likely the bike’s owner will be met with any criminal action.
Oy, these kids today.