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Things people say about the Stig…

Posted in Celebrity Cars, Cool Stuff, Top Gear by MrAngry | August 29th, 2010 | Leave a Reply |

Top Gear

Take a look at the above image and you’ll notice that there are four individuals present. There’s automotive buffoon extraordinaire Jeremy Clarkson, James May aka Captain Slow, the little guy Richard Hammond and then there is the Stig. The Stig is actually the only one of the four that matters. You see, he is the tame racing driver that is employed by Top Gear as their test driver. His identity is not known, we know not were he comes from, nor do we know where he’s going. What we do have, thanks to Jeremy Clarkson, are some tidbits of information as to what makes the Stig function as a driver.

For instance, some say…

• He’s Mac compatible
• That his tears are adhesive
• If he caught fire that he would burn for 1000 days.
• That the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same as the Nurburgring.
• That he sleeps upside down like a bat.
• His sweat can be used to clean precious metals.
• His skin has the texture of a dolphins
• He does not see like humans do, instead he sees numbers in green, scrolling down.
• He is scared of bells.
• That if you tune to 88.4 FM you can actually hear his thoughts.
• His first name really is “The”.
• His politics are terrifying.
• He though that Star Wars was a documentary.
• That when there’s a really important job to do, he skive off to play croquet.
• He was raised by wolves.
• He appears on high-value stamps in Sweden.
• He has no understanding of clouds.
• His earwax tastes like turkish delight.
• He is confused by stairs.
• He naturally faces magnetic north.
• He is illegal in 17 U.S. States.
• His heart ticks like a watch.
• Both his legs are hydraulic.
• He can “accumbularate”
• He appears on Japanese banknotes.
• There is an airport in Russia named after him.

Source: TopGear.com/uk

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