We here at Ridelust.com are suckers for any type of cinema that contains automobiles. We love the chases, crashes, explosions and the simple fact that most of these cars take on their own persona’s by the movies ending. Cars like the 1968 Mustang Fastback in Bullitt, the menacing black Interceptor in Mad Max, and Milner’s 1932 Ford coupe in American Graffiti have all become automotive icons. Keep in mind though that this is not always the case. In fact there are many flims out there that simply crucify automobiles because for one, they simply don’t know any better, or two, you get some bonehead producer that “thinks” he’s a car guy and knows what the public wants to see. Hell, it’s a shame cars like this have to exist, but since they do we figured we’d put together a list of what we think are the biggest abominations in all of cinema.
“If you think it’s bad now, just wait till you drive it.” – Eugene Levy.
That pretty much sums up Clark Griswald’s 1983 Ford LTD Country Squire station wagon from the movie Vacation. The poor wagon was transformed into the Family Truckster that Clark and his family traveled across the country in. It came equipped with airbags, metallic pea paint and a roof rack that was ideal for holding dead relatives. It also had a rear quarter panel that was big enough to hold the phrase, “HONKY LIPS”. It was all about style with the family truckster… all about style.
The Murph Mobile was a 1976 AMC Pacer that was clad in sky blue paint with mismatched wheels and some sort of hideous flame job on the side. It was pretty terrible to say the least, but I suppose it fit with Wayne and Garth’s slacker persona. Even though the car itself sucked, it did have a roof mounted licorice dispenser that was pretty cool, so I guess it can’t be all bad.
This is perhaps the biggest let down in all of movie history. The Batmobile from the 1995 movie Batman Forever, starring Val Kilmer, was so absurdly bad that whomever designed it should be taken out and shot dead.
Believe it or not, but this movie stars everyone’s favorite nutball Charlie Sheen as a mystical figure that comes back from the dead to take care of a west coast gang of street thugs. His weapon of choice? A car known as the Turbo Interceptor which was based off of a 1984 Dodge M4S prototype sports coupe. The problem with the car was that it looked like a flattened turtle and was about as intimidating as any Dodge product from the 1980’s… meaning it was a full-on P.O.S.
This is a right-hand drive 1978 Chevrolet Corvette that’s been customized within’ an inch of its life. Between the useless hood scoops, side pipes, and shark like nose, it’s no wonder the movie was as terrible as the car. Since the movie was made in the 1970’s I can understand the bowling ball paint job, but that doesn’t keep it from being one of the most heinous cars to have ever grace the silver screen.
As far as hero cars go, this is about as crappy as they come. Duel was about a pissed-off trucker who was obsessed with killing Dennis Weaver for the simple reason that he cut him off. The movie was 74 minutes long, but should have only been about 12 since Weaver was driving a 1971 Plymouth Valiant with a slant-six. Back then this baby had about as much get up and go as a monster truck with four flat tires. What’s even crazier is that this flick was directed by none other than Steven Spielberg. Glad to see this movie didn’t kill his career.