The Top 5 Most Legendarily Lame Cars
There have been, and always will be, cars that are legendary for the impact they left on the automotive industry or society in general. The following is a list of the Top 5 cars that have left their own, unique impression - an impression that probably won’t soon be rewarded by the Power Circle.
1. 1976 AMC Pacer
It almost doesn’t seem fair to pick on the Pacer inasmuch the Pacer has made almost every “Worst Car” list ever conceived since 1972. But alas, one must give credit where credit is due. With an emphasis on emissions control and fuel efficiency, the AMC Pacer listed a net weight of approximately 3000 lbs and roughly 120 hp. It was widely regarded to be only a slight upgrade from the Radio Flyer wagon.
2. 1977 Mercury Marquis
John Candy’s ride of choice in “Uncle Buck”, the Mercury Marquis comes by its suckitude from a purely aesthetic standpoint as it doesn’t poses any glaring mechanical defects. Unfortunately, just being ugly is enough. The 1977 Mercury Grand Marquis comes it at Number 2 as the quintessential car for the motorist who wants to effectively communicate, “As a matter of fact, I don’t have anything to lose.”
3. 1978 Ford Country Squire
The minivan’s predecessor, the station wagon is a culture icon. Reminiscent of a simpler time, the Ford Country Squire represents an era when it was perfectly acceptable when, due to a lack of adequate seating for your large family, your little sister frequently rode on the dashboard. The Squire was child-friendly in other ways as well - its vinyl seating surfaces provided little-to-no resistance for frenzied attempts at escape from Dad’s frequent disciplinary swats from the driver’s seat.
4. 1989-93 Chevrolet G-20 Van
Remarkable for its apparent generality, the 1989 Chevy G-20 Van makes the Top 5 List simply for it’s incredibly duality. Nothing can silently (yet strongly) broadcast either “Undercover Drug Enforcement Strike Force” or “Child Predator on the Prowl,” quite like it.
5. Ford Festiva [pick a year, any year]
With enough interior space to seat approximately ½ of an adult comfortably, and models featuring 56-horsepower, 65-horsepower, and 88-horsepower respectively, the Ford Festiva is the product of what was most likely a friendly little competition between engineers who had already earned tenure (”Oh yeah, Bob? Well they’ll never go for this…”).
No Pinto? The country squire??? I had a 73 ranch wagon and that car ROCKED!
Words by datou on July 21, 2008 at 7:41 am | #
It really didn’t feel fair to pick on the Pinto, the Gremlin, or the Pacer. I mean, they are undeniably some of the most awful cars ever created, it just seemed like I’d be beating a dead horse.
Words by Suzanne Denbow on July 22, 2008 at 4:21 pm | #
i think when it comes to the mercury marquis you guys are fool of crap,it was the best american car in the seventies bar none,far as looks the 1975 to 1978 2dr grand marquis is one of the best looking cars in a coupe with hideaway headlights,and loaded with every option
Words by michael gilbo on September 17, 2008 at 1:47 pm | #
ALIVE—ALIVE with this old thread! :evilly laughing:
too broad a topic here, but sticking to seventies (not to bash Ford because I actually LIKED the full size LTD’s and Marquis’ of the day) but what about the MUSTANG II. Holy crap?!? Or the Lincoln Versailles? nothing more than a glorified Granada, or a magnafied Monarch. And the Chevette? Wow. what a forgettable piece of junk, with shock towers that rotted as soon as they got wet.
Early seventies –how about the 4dr TBirds. u-g-l-y, you ain’t got no alibi, u ugly!
plymouth. enough said. basically everthing mopar made in the 70s. (a few exceptions if you’re feeling sentimental)
Words by Joe on September 18, 2008 at 11:52 am | #