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10 WTF Bumper Stickers

Posted in Cars, General, Road Trips, Traffic by Suzanne Denbow | September 30th, 2008 | 40 Responses |

After eliminating stickers that were politically biased to the point of being pestiferous, as well as those that appeared to be from Spencer Gifts’ “Unfunny Asshole” division, it wasn’t difficult to trim the final selection down to 10. So, without further ado, I present to you the 10 bumper stickers that are most likely to induce a chortled “wtf?”

1. The Municipal Worker’s Creed

Who thinks it’s funny: Anyone residing in a state with a major roadway that’s been under construction since approximately the Regan Administration.

2. Mothers Against Drunk Fondling

Who thinks it’s funny: Anyone who ever listened to The Loaf’s Paradise By The Dashboard Light/Parents routinely overheard describing cherubic toddler as their “Happy little surprise.”

3. Truth In Stereotypes

Who thinks it’s funny: Men in general/women who can be routinely found performing small engine repairs while their male counterparts relax, sipping their frappuccino gingerly while thumbing through the new L.L. Bean catalog.

4. The Good Ol’ Days

Who doesn’t think it’s funny: Jimmy “Designer Board” Jitbag and his roving band of spoiled socialites.

5. Kill The [Bike] Messenger

Who thinks it’s funny: People who live in large metropolitan areas densely populated with “hipster” bike messengers and their loathsome elitist “underground” culture.

6. College Rivalry

Who think it’s funny: Michigan State University alums/anyone who doesn’t know jackshit about college sports, but finds the obscurity of the question humorously appealing.

7. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Homemade Beer

Who think it’s funny: Hardcore fans of the Miami Herald’s Pulitzer Prize winning humor columnist Dave Barry, who daily mourn his retirement.

8. Rules of the Road

Who thinks its funny: Veteran road warriors/anyone whose ever shaken their head and muttered “Idiot” while watching a newly-licensed 16 year-old barrel balls-to-the-wall down the right hand lane.

9. Smith Family Update

Who think it’s funny: Regular recipients of those smarmy “family brag sheets” often sent at Christmas time that describe in excruciating detail the epic achievements of a family who probably spends Saturday evenings listening to Lake Woebegone together.

10. 01011011

Who think it’s funny: Your office tech support guy/Windows Vista users/The kid you ridiculed mercilessly in high school who is now worth more than the gross national product of many small countries.

Also check-out: Top 10 Things People Do To Ruin Their Cars


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40 Responses

  1. mattresses says:


  2. Geoserv says:


    #8 was my favourite.

  3. Uncle B says:

    Tender spot hurting a lot? Other side too? bruises on your face and body throbbing? Is that blood running out your nose, skirt above your head in the wind, panties torn and soiled, titties swelling and turning blue by the minute, lost on the roadside, hoping not to die? Did you recognize the tail lights of the limo that threw you off? Was it the same limo that picked you up at election time, promising a good decent clean ride? Will you ever learn? Last time these guys did this to you, your babies were killed in Iraq and your retirement fund spent to do it, your taxes went up, you did not get destroyed by the weapons of mass destruction, they were never found. Poor little America. Our heart-felt prayers from Canada go out to you!

  4. G says:

    I feel it is my duty to comment on #6.
    This is not just for Michigan State Alumi, it is in fact for anyone who has spent time around people who have graduated from U of M.
    There are many nice people, but far more…well people who would inspire this sort bumper sticker.

  5. David says:

    very funny pics…i love it. Uncle B????? I really feel like stupidity should have a limit…like you can be only so stupid and it stops but Uncle B proves that just isn’t the case. Luckily, Canada has socialized medicine so your life will most probably be cut short before you can breed.

  6. RW2 says:

    Dear Canada:
    We buy 60 % of your goods and almost all of your oil. Good luck with that.

  7. […] Ridelust has a bunch of funny bumper stickers. […]

  8. Nordmann says:

    Dear USA: Since you mention it, the check bounced, is there any chance you could pay us this century?
    – Canada

  9. […] October 8, 2008 at 10:10 am (art & photography) (bike, funny) via 10 WTF Bumper Stickers. […]

  10. TheGreatBibble says:

    Dear Canada,

    Why buy the cow when we get the milk for free?

    – USA

  11. GenuineNerd says:

    I used to remember the bumper stickers that said “S— Happens” and “How’s My Driving…Call 1-800-EAT-S—“. I don’t see those anymore. Also, I recall seeing bumper stickers in the late 1970’s that said “Hey, Iran!” (a few said “F— Iran!”), with Mickey Mouse giving the middle finger. This was at the time Ayatollah Khomeini overthrew the Shah’s government and 52 American hostages were held for 444 days.

  12. squeakycyclist says:

    Why the Lake Wobegon hate? Garrison’s sonorous voice soothes me into naptime!

  13. The Central Scrutinizer says:

    Fuck Canada. They’re not even a real country anyway.

  14. “Support the Right to Arm Bears” was a bumper sticker a company in Berkeley, CA used to sell. It remains my favorite.

    As to Canada, Mr. Scrutiner reminds me of the episode of “the Simpsons” wherein which Homer Simpson said of Canada, “Why should I go to ‘little America’ when I already live in America?”

    But they are indeed a real country and one smart enough to provide health care for all its citizens – notice I said “citizens” as opposed to folks parked there illegally to get a free hand-out – as well as not invade countries that have no discernible Weapons of Mass Destruction; and go bankrupt doing so. Hey, maybe we could learn something there, eh? Take off, hoser!

  15. Darren says:

    The URL one and bike messenger one both violate one of my personal pet peeves: bumper stickers with print that’s too small to read in the real world!

  16. Cindy says:

    I’ve only purchased/used *one* bumper sticker on any of my cars (to cover another crappier sticker)… and it was… #2. Yes, the alien buckle up sticker… No lie. (and no, that’s not my car.)

    Just for this fact alone I’m giving it a thumbs up on my Stumble. :)

  17. Jon Boyles says:

    My favorite one for 2008 reads:
    Bipartisin Politics
    I’ll hug your Elephant, if you’ll kiss my ass !

  18. pen jr av8r says:

    the best bumper stickers i’ve seen:

    on an older minicooper: [product shown actual size]

    Alcohol and Calculus don’t mix. Don’t Drink and Derive.

    If you’re going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair!

    Entropy Happens (for the non-Physics-geeks, Entropy is represented by “s” in physics)

    WARNING! Yould should be watching the road, not the bumper of the car infront of you. Failure to comply may result in damage to your own bumper.

  19. Ron C Clair says:

    The best bumper sticker I ever saw (and it was a long time ago) was:


  20. m4jestic says:

    guys i saw a pathfinder with “Jet Fuel Only” on the fuel tank lid
    i dont have a picture ATM, but if i submitted it put it here!

  21. commentor says:


  22. wench says:

    “Fat people are harder to kidnap”

  23. Pastafarian Stumbler says:

    I cannot believe no one noticed…Nr. 5 -> FSM!

    I have been touched by his noodly appendage!
    All hail the FSM!

    Greets from a true pastafarian

  24. Fire man says:

    Dail 911 make a cop come

  25. Biotech is Godzilla says:

    As the Pastafarian said, FSM’s presence in number bears noting, as it is very important symbolism of some very important spaghetti.

    One less fixed gear is kind of fresh.

  26. #6 is hilarious…it’s much better outside of the college rivalry context. Somebody should get a “Did you kick your neighbor’s dog today?”

    ohhh, that’s classic.

  27. Anony says:

    Not about a sticker, but what about the “F NADER” license plates many a Corvair has adorned over the years? The funniest sticker I’ve seen is: “Heisenberg may or may not have been here.” HAHAHA! For those who know, now THAT’S funny shit!

  28. There is nothing better that been stuck in traffic and seeing a really good bumper sicker to give you a smile and I have seen some really good ones.

  29. takeoffyouhoser says:

    @uncle b s#1T

    Your great country of canada has no military does it? I bet Haiti could kick your a** all over that frozen wasteland you call home!

  30. JauGarage says:

    You can have afghnistan back noe
    the russians have left and the natives are pissed

  31. josh says:

    I’m pretty sure the one on the back of the truck is from a country where they drive on the other side of the road like Britain, Australia just a thought?

  32. Jake says:

    #10 had me laughing for a really long time. That was EPIC.

  33. Natalia says:

    I had a nice silent laugh(:

  34. Mattress says:

    I fricken hate our road workers…I always see those dang road patchers with their fat guts not patting down the hot asphalt, i feel like re-enacting the scene from Mall Rats where the overzealous bald dad producing the love game show puts his foot through the set….”you put the asphalt on the GROUND and YOU PAT IT DOWN. like THIS!!” yes, they really don’t care…..

  35. The FSM is crap, while the 404 error is the most funny.

  36. myself says:

    Toyota:Moving Forward,Whether you want or not.

  37. CmdrKat says:

    HEY, ONE MAJOR ISSUE WAS NOT MENTIONED: YEILD TO THE RIGHT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU HEAR (AND SEE) AN EMERGENCY VEHICLE COMING UP BEHIND YOU!! In Watching all the cop shows and having been a cop for many years, it would appear that about 80% of all drivers fail to yeild for emergency vehicles trying to either get to a call to save a life or try to catch some idiot running from them. Most people who have a moron rip past them honk, flip off the errant driver then go merrily along not thinking that there are undoubtedly several police vehilces coming up beihind them to try to catch the violator. Also, ambulances need to get past you as quickly as possible. If it was your Aunt Minnie having a heart attack you would want the EMS people there as quick as possible, but those who fai to yeild and force the ambulances to either slow down or STOP to wait to get by only risk Auntie’s life! Give Them A Brake!! Pull over-it’s only a matter fo 30 seconds or less of an inconvenience people!

  38. Evo says:

    I love #10! Great collection.

  39. zonda says:

    I remember one bumper sticker.

    It was on the Ford crew cab that I used in logging:

    “If you wipe you support the forest industry!”