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10 WTF Bumper Stickers
After eliminating stickers that were politically biased to the point of being pestiferous, as well as those that appeared to be from Spencer Gifts’ “Unfunny Asshole” division, it wasn’t difficult to trim the final selection down to 10. So, without further ado, I present to you the 10 bumper stickers that are most likely to induce a chortled “wtf?”
1. The Municipal Worker’s Creed
Who thinks it’s funny: Anyone residing in a state with a major roadway that’s been under construction since approximately the Regan Administration.
2. Mothers Against Drunk Fondling
Who thinks it’s funny: Anyone who ever listened to The Loaf’s Paradise By The Dashboard Light/Parents routinely overheard describing cherubic toddler as their “Happy little surprise.”
3. Truth In Stereotypes
Who thinks it’s funny: Men in general/women who can be routinely found performing small engine repairs while their male counterparts relax, sipping their frappuccino gingerly while thumbing through the new L.L. Bean catalog.
4. The Good Ol’ Days
Who doesn’t think it’s funny: Jimmy “Designer Board” Jitbag and his roving band of spoiled socialites.
5. Kill The [Bike] Messenger
Who thinks it’s funny: People who live in large metropolitan areas densely populated with “hipster” bike messengers and their loathsome elitist “underground” culture.
6. College Rivalry
Who think it’s funny: Michigan State University alums/anyone who doesn’t know jackshit about college sports, but finds the obscurity of the question humorously appealing.
7. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Homemade Beer
Who think it’s funny: Hardcore fans of the Miami Herald’s Pulitzer Prize winning humor columnist Dave Barry, who daily mourn his retirement.
8. Rules of the Road
Who thinks its funny: Veteran road warriors/anyone whose ever shaken their head and muttered “Idiot” while watching a newly-licensed 16 year-old barrel balls-to-the-wall down the right hand lane.
9. Smith Family Update
Who think it’s funny: Regular recipients of those smarmy “family brag sheets” often sent at Christmas time that describe in excruciating detail the epic achievements of a family who probably spends Saturday evenings listening to Lake Woebegone together.
10. 01011011
Who think it’s funny: Your office tech support guy/Windows Vista users/The kid you ridiculed mercilessly in high school who is now worth more than the gross national product of many small countries.
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LOL HAVE U KICKED A WOLVERINE TODAY?
Words by mattresses on September 30, 2008 at 12:55 pm | #
STUMBLED!
#8 was my favourite.
Words by Geoserv on October 1, 2008 at 11:12 am | #
Tender spot hurting a lot? Other side too? bruises on your face and body throbbing? Is that blood running out your nose, skirt above your head in the wind, panties torn and soiled, titties swelling and turning blue by the minute, lost on the roadside, hoping not to die? Did you recognize the tail lights of the limo that threw you off? Was it the same limo that picked you up at election time, promising a good decent clean ride? Will you ever learn? Last time these guys did this to you, your babies were killed in Iraq and your retirement fund spent to do it, your taxes went up, you did not get destroyed by the weapons of mass destruction, they were never found. Poor little America. Our heart-felt prayers from Canada go out to you!
Words by Uncle B on October 1, 2008 at 11:15 am | #
I feel it is my duty to comment on #6.
This is not just for Michigan State Alumi, it is in fact for anyone who has spent time around people who have graduated from U of M.
There are many nice people, but far more…well people who would inspire this sort bumper sticker.
Words by G on October 1, 2008 at 7:23 pm | #
very funny pics…i love it. Uncle B????? I really feel like stupidity should have a limit…like you can be only so stupid and it stops but Uncle B proves that just isn’t the case. Luckily, Canada has socialized medicine so your life will most probably be cut short before you can breed.
Words by David on October 3, 2008 at 6:14 pm | #
Dear Canada:
We buy 60 % of your goods and almost all of your oil. Good luck with that.
-USA
Words by RW2 on October 3, 2008 at 11:33 pm | #
[...] Ridelust has a bunch of funny bumper stickers. [...]
Pingback by Motorists for Obama « neither big nor tall on October 5, 2008 at 9:08 am | #
Dear USA: Since you mention it, the check bounced, is there any chance you could pay us this century?
- Canada
Words by Nordmann on October 6, 2008 at 7:38 am | #
[...] October 8, 2008 at 10:10 am (art & photography) (bike, funny) via 10 WTF Bumper Stickers. [...]
Pingback by fixed gear rage « lizblog on October 8, 2008 at 1:10 pm | #
Dear Canada,
Why buy the cow when we get the milk for free?
- USA
Words by TheGreatBibble on October 16, 2008 at 8:46 am | #
I used to remember the bumper stickers that said “S— Happens” and “How’s My Driving…Call 1-800-EAT-S—”. I don’t see those anymore. Also, I recall seeing bumper stickers in the late 1970’s that said “Hey, Iran!” (a few said “F— Iran!”), with Mickey Mouse giving the middle finger. This was at the time Ayatollah Khomeini overthrew the Shah’s government and 52 American hostages were held for 444 days.
Words by GenuineNerd on November 23, 2008 at 2:23 am | #
Why the Lake Wobegon hate? Garrison’s sonorous voice soothes me into naptime!
Words by squeakycyclist on December 9, 2008 at 11:02 pm | #
Fuck Canada. They’re not even a real country anyway.
Words by The Central Scrutinizer on December 11, 2008 at 3:46 pm | #
“Support the Right to Arm Bears” was a bumper sticker a company in Berkeley, CA used to sell. It remains my favorite.
As to Canada, Mr. Scrutiner reminds me of the episode of “the Simpsons” wherein which Homer Simpson said of Canada, “Why should I go to ‘little America’ when I already live in America?”
But they are indeed a real country and one smart enough to provide health care for all its citizens – notice I said “citizens” as opposed to folks parked there illegally to get a free hand-out – as well as not invade countries that have no discernible Weapons of Mass Destruction; and go bankrupt doing so. Hey, maybe we could learn something there, eh? Take off, hoser!
Words by Terry Parkhurst on December 12, 2008 at 3:21 am | #
The URL one and bike messenger one both violate one of my personal pet peeves: bumper stickers with print that’s too small to read in the real world!
Words by Darren on December 25, 2008 at 11:22 am | #
I’ve only purchased/used *one* bumper sticker on any of my cars (to cover another crappier sticker)… and it was… #2. Yes, the alien buckle up sticker… No lie. (and no, that’s not my car.)
Just for this fact alone I’m giving it a thumbs up on my Stumble.
Words by Cindy on December 31, 2008 at 11:40 pm | #
My favorite one for 2008 reads:
Bipartisin Politics
I’ll hug your Elephant, if you’ll kiss my ass !
Words by Jon Boyles on January 12, 2009 at 1:10 am | #
the best bumper stickers i’ve seen:
on an older minicooper: [product shown actual size]
Alcohol and Calculus don’t mix. Don’t Drink and Derive.
If you’re going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair!
Entropy Happens (for the non-Physics-geeks, Entropy is represented by “s” in physics)
WARNING! Yould should be watching the road, not the bumper of the car infront of you. Failure to comply may result in damage to your own bumper.
Words by pen jr av8r on January 15, 2009 at 10:12 pm | #
The best bumper sticker I ever saw (and it was a long time ago) was:
TEDDY FOR LIFEGUARD!
Words by Ron C Clair on January 31, 2009 at 9:55 am | #
guys i saw a pathfinder with “Jet Fuel Only” on the fuel tank lid
i dont have a picture ATM, but if i submitted it put it here!
Words by m4jestic on February 22, 2009 at 10:41 am | #
hahaha
Words by commentor on April 19, 2009 at 1:34 am | #
lol cool!!
Words by MAX on April 19, 2009 at 5:24 am | #
“Fat people are harder to kidnap”
Words by wench on April 24, 2009 at 11:54 pm | #
I cannot believe no one noticed…Nr. 5 -> FSM!
I have been touched by his noodly appendage!
All hail the FSM!
Greets from a true pastafarian
Words by Pastafarian Stumbler on May 14, 2009 at 6:47 pm | #
Dail 911 make a cop come
Words by Fire man on May 15, 2009 at 11:25 pm | #
As the Pastafarian said, FSM’s presence in number bears noting, as it is very important symbolism of some very important spaghetti.
One less fixed gear is kind of fresh.
Words by Biotech is Godzilla on May 27, 2009 at 12:57 am | #
#6 is hilarious…it’s much better outside of the college rivalry context. Somebody should get a “Did you kick your neighbor’s dog today?”
ohhh, that’s classic.
Words by Louisville Slugger on June 14, 2009 at 8:31 pm | #
Not about a sticker, but what about the “F NADER” license plates many a Corvair has adorned over the years? The funniest sticker I’ve seen is: “Heisenberg may or may not have been here.” HAHAHA! For those who know, now THAT’S funny shit!
Words by Anony on June 19, 2009 at 10:41 pm | #
There is nothing better that been stuck in traffic and seeing a really good bumper sicker to give you a smile and I have seen some really good ones.
Words by Sue @ Used Cars on July 10, 2009 at 2:01 am | #
@uncle b s#1T
Your great country of canada has no military does it? I bet Haiti could kick your a** all over that frozen wasteland you call home!
Words by takeoffyouhoser on September 22, 2009 at 5:33 pm | #
Takeoffyouhoser
You can have afghnistan back noe
the russians have left and the natives are pissed
Words by JauGarage on October 16, 2009 at 7:10 pm | #
I’m pretty sure the one on the back of the truck is from a country where they drive on the other side of the road like Britain, Australia just a thought?
Words by josh on October 30, 2009 at 9:44 pm | #
#10 had me laughing for a really long time. That was EPIC.
Words by Jake on November 1, 2009 at 3:51 pm | #
I had a nice silent laugh(:
Words by Natalia on December 16, 2009 at 2:35 pm | #
I fricken hate our road workers…I always see those dang road patchers with their fat guts not patting down the hot asphalt, i feel like re-enacting the scene from Mall Rats where the overzealous bald dad producing the love game show puts his foot through the set….”you put the asphalt on the GROUND and YOU PAT IT DOWN. like THIS!!” yes, they really don’t care…..
Words by Mattress on December 21, 2009 at 10:16 pm | #
The FSM is crap, while the 404 error is the most funny.
Words by Plus-Jamais-Timide on January 21, 2010 at 5:52 pm | #
Toyota:Moving Forward,Whether you want or not.
Words by myself on February 22, 2010 at 4:42 pm | #