After eliminating stickers that were politically biased to the point of being pestiferous, as well as those that appeared to be from Spencer Gifts’ “Unfunny Asshole” division, it wasn’t difficult to trim the final selection down to 10. So, without further ado, I present to you the 10 bumper stickers that are most likely to induce a chortled “wtf?”
1. The Municipal Worker’s Creed
Who thinks it’s funny: Anyone residing in a state with a major roadway that’s been under construction since approximately the Regan Administration.
2. Mothers Against Drunk Fondling
Who thinks it’s funny: Anyone who ever listened to The Loaf’s Paradise By The Dashboard Light/Parents routinely overheard describing cherubic toddler as their “Happy little surprise.”
3. Truth In Stereotypes
Who thinks it’s funny: Men in general/women who can be routinely found performing small engine repairs while their male counterparts relax, sipping their frappuccino gingerly while thumbing through the new L.L. Bean catalog.
4. The Good Ol’ Days
Who doesn’t think it’s funny: Jimmy “Designer Board” Jitbag and his roving band of spoiled socialites.
5. Kill The [Bike] Messenger
Who thinks it’s funny: People who live in large metropolitan areas densely populated with “hipster” bike messengers and their loathsome elitist “underground” culture.
6. College Rivalry
Who think it’s funny: Michigan State University alums/anyone who doesn’t know jackshit about college sports, but finds the obscurity of the question humorously appealing.
7. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Homemade Beer
Who think it’s funny: Hardcore fans of the Miami Herald’s Pulitzer Prize winning humor columnist Dave Barry, who daily mourn his retirement.
8. Rules of the Road
Who thinks its funny: Veteran road warriors/anyone whose ever shaken their head and muttered “Idiot” while watching a newly-licensed 16 year-old barrel balls-to-the-wall down the right hand lane.
9. Smith Family Update
Who think it’s funny: Regular recipients of those smarmy “family brag sheets” often sent at Christmas time that describe in excruciating detail the epic achievements of a family who probably spends Saturday evenings listening to Lake Woebegone together.
Who think it’s funny: Your office tech support guy/Windows Vista users/The kid you ridiculed mercilessly in high school who is now worth more than the gross national product of many small countries.
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