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The Chevron Experience, Part 1 [Group Sex Video Footage Edited For Content And To Run In Time Allotted]

Posted in Alt Fuels, auto industry, Biofuel, Car Tech, Diesel, Emissions, Fuel, Fuel Cell, Gas Prices, Hybrid, Hybrid Technologies, Newsworthy, Oil Industry by Suzanne Denbow | September 12th, 2008 | 3 Responses |

At the request of Chevron Energy Corporation, I spent the bulk of today in Richmond, California receiving the grand tour of Chevron’s Richmond Technology Center. Despite the fact that my feet were dragging from jet lag, the tour was definitely worth the effort, even if for no other reason than the plentiful supply of engineer eye candy [they definitely gave the Chevy Volt-mates a run for their geeky stud-muffin money].

As drool-inducing as I found many of the Chevron execs to be, however, RideLust’s content censor tends to maintain the same business theory that most professional pornographers do, namely: the majority of your audience is not interested in dicks. So, in the interest of maintaining reader interest, I’ll move on to explain the less sexual parts of the tour.

Obviously, Chevron did not call us there to shoot the breeze. Their primary objective was to present the engine additive they manufacture, Techron Concentrate Plus, as well as showcase the tremendous effort they’ve put into becoming the forerunners in fuel-efficient technology. Looking to undercut the huddled masses who pour Sunoco gas/NyQuil into their tank without batting an eyelash, Chevron went looking to market to the niche market they value most – the people who can hold lengthy, detailed discussions about the viscosity of lubricants without giggling, the gearheads. They didn’t waste time with ambiguous auto industry buzzwords like, “Superior performance” or “Unbeatable reliability,” instead opting for the less bullshit-oriented, “Look, our product is superior, and here’s the comprehensive research to back it up,” approach. On Monday, after I’ve had a chance to sift through the numerous charts and graphs and had the legal department green-light the pornographic material, I’ll post the full, uncensored account of my Chevron experience.

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3 Responses

  1. Service technicians do indeed recommend Chevron, due to the additive Techron. It works best with newer cars, only in that they haven’t had damage done to their engines; so Techron helps to extend engine life – just as Chevron says.

    As for the other stuff, might it be possible to leave the cheeky innuendo to The Truth about Cars.com? That’s assuming TTAC is still up and running.

    There’s all sorts of ways to construct a compelling lead. If all else fails, try any of the old standards: Who, what, where, when and how.

  2. John Coyle says:

    Good luck getting that footage through legal. I can’t believe they made us wear “long sleeves and closed-toe shoes” but let the engineers walk around without any pants. Crazy.

  3. Reslie Panuncialman says:

    i need a free car pls