Jeff Foxworthy once said of Southerners, that the reason we (I’ll say we since I’m from SC) have such bad reputations for being, well, idiots, is that “we can’t keep the most ignorant among us off the television.” And I think it’s safe to say that, on a national level, WRIGHT-CRX Enterprises, Inc. is one of those idiots making us look
bad even worse to Europeans.
The people at WRIGHT-CRX, Inc. are the geniuses behind this garish attempt at motorcycle advertisement. And if gratuitous hyperbole won’t get you, the grammar will, which gave me an idea for a fun but educational family game:
Click on the above image. Print it out. Then, give it to your elementary school-aged child and tell them that for every error they find, you’ll reward them with some celery or a nice healthy apple slice. (I’m sure they could find them all, but if you encounter problems, try baiting them with M&M’s or a Snickers. You have smart kids, I’m telling you.)
For more colorful commentary, put the kids down and follow me after the jump.
First, motorcyclists will notice how bland both of these “Super Custom Choppers” look compared with the likes of Iron Horse, Big Dog, Big Bear, Victory, and even Harley Davidson. One might also notice the absurdly small engine on the Silver Custom, especially considering it’s supposed to be a monstrous 2049cc mill.
Secondly, you will notice that there is only an old fashioned mailing address listed on the flier. There’s no website. They’re shipping bikes to Europe, and no website. So I did a bit of research (i.e. Googled) WRIGHT-CRX, and found informercials advertising their state-of-the-art phone surveillance systems. I’m no expert, but the ability to tap other people’s phone lines sounds a bit illegal to me. If not, I’ll just say shady.
All of this leads me to doubt the very existence of these bikes in the first place, which comes as a consolation to me–that the Superest Most Bestest Awesome Bikes with the Most Dumbest Names are indeed hoaxes of the highest order.
If I’m wrong, and you can prove it, do feel free to post. But I would suggest doing so anonymously.
And if anyone in Europe has seen this add, I implore you to peruse the above article (and a few of Hemingway’s works as well). We aren’t all dumbies, I promise…