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Respect the Van… now with Porno Music!

Posted in General by MrAngry | February 23rd, 2010 | 3 Responses |

The 1970s were filled with a lot of funky stuff. We saw the end of the Vietnam War, the rise and fall of Disco and clothing that guaranteed we wouldn’t get laid. To combat the – not getting laid – part we turned to the automotive industry and more specifically the Custom Van. You see if you had a van, you had your very own portable pump shack. You could go anywhere, see everything and more importantly do anyone you wanted because you possessed the one vehicle that struck fear into the hearts of every Father in the 1970’s with a teenage daughter. Most custom vans came equipped with 3 main ingredients. Slotted wheels, side pipes and of course the lunarscape mural that was emblazoned on the side.

Here is some funky 70’s mood music to get you in the spirit. Just hit play on the bar below and get ready to be transported back to the land of bell-bottoms and booty-vans.

This is what I’m talking about… shag carpet, a bottle of Courvoisier and the cool sounds of Klaus Harmony diggin’ on in the distance. I’ve wanted to build a custom van forever, but the fact that I don’t have any more garage space is throwing a big wrench in those plans. Since I don’t have one and won’t be building one anytime soon I thought I’d present ya’ll with a few pictures of these rolling libido limo’s for your enjoyment. By the way, I totally made up the names, but they seemed to fit, so I figured what the hell.

1. American Eagle

Check out the vintage Centerline wheels, zoomies and rear wing… AWESOME!

2. Dark Night

Ok, we’ve got the Cragars, side pipes, tear-drop window and the uber-creepy Dark Night mural. This thing just screams: ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!

3. Sophia

I’ve named this one Sophia because I honestly think that that’s Sophia Loren on the side of this thing. I’m diggin’ the wood bumper and plywood grill as well. Nothing said style back then like lumber and stain.

4. Van-Doba!

I totally missed this one on the first go round. Check out the entire Cordoba front end on this sucker. I wonder if he’s also got the rich Corinthian leather… WOOF!

5. Flying Eagle

I’ll be honest, this isn’t one of my favorites. I can respect the work, but there is simply no excuse for the $8.00 Pep Boy wheels… ugh.

6. Date Rape

Umm yea… the name pretty much says it all.

7. Big Blue

I like this one. I’m not overly crazy about the color choice, but out of all the vans up here this one is the least child molester-ish of the lot.

8. Starship

This thing is just about as creepy as they come. I can see this baby rolling up through the canyons of California to Dirk Digglers Porno Palace with a bumper sticker that says: “If this Vans A-rockin’, Don’t Come a Knockin'”.

9. Illicit Behavior

“Why yes Officer, as a matter of fact, I do have a dead body back here…”

10. The Classic

My favorite. Zoomies, classic mag wheels and some cool orange paint… doesn’t get any better.

Source: http://www.showvans.com

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3 Responses

  1. Kurt says:

    Good stuff – wish I had a disco ball in my office now…

  2. Hoagie says:

    The names on # 6&8 are wrong #6 is actually called “Headstone” not date rape and #8 is “The Deathstar”. Deathstars new paint job is even better.

  3. Hoagie says:

    Oh and #10 The Scarlet Lady not the classic, may be restored soom from what I hear.