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Reminder: Porsche Drivers Should Be Higher Up The Food Chain Than Turkeys

Posted in Bizarre, FAIL, Funny Videos, General by Kurt Ernst | October 7th, 2010 | 1 Response |

I had a college roommate from a small town in Montana, and he insisted on teaching me how to deal with cattle blocking the road. “You have to make them think you’re a bull,” he said, “so you back off, charge them, stop short and hit the horn. Believe me, they’ll get out of your way.”

You never know when information like this will come in handy, and I put his theory to the test on a deserted stretch of US 50 in the Nevada desert. One minute I was happily motoring along, hammer down, with my girlfriend in the passenger seat. We topped a bluff, and there on the road in front of us was a herd of cattle. I stopped and pondered the situation. The cows weren’t moving, and seemed content to lay in the road and block our forward progress. I wasn’t going to backtrack a hundred or so miles to hit the interstate, so we were at an impasse. Suddenly, Jon’s words came back to me, so I jumped in the car and told my girlfriend “watch this.” I backed up, revved the motor, dropped the clutch and the rental car shot forward. Giving myself a safe braking distance, I nailed the brakes and the horn at the same time. Cows that had been basking in the sun were now on their feet, and a few more attempts cleared a wide enough passage for us to drive through.

Why am I telling you this? Because the same rule applies with turkeys. Back off, charge them and honk the horn. If it doesn’t work the first time, do it again, and I’ll bet you the turkeys find something else to occupy their pea-sized brain. Under no circumstances should you act like the driver of the Porsche in this video, who seems amused at turkeys pecking the paint from his bumper. I shouldn’t have to remind you of this, but we’re the apex predator in most environments, and we should certainly be more intelligent and resourceful than domesticated poultry with the intellect of a rutabaga.

Source: RPM Go

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