During this year’s pair of Biker rallies, held annually in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, officials were capable of fining anyone caught (only) wearing a thong in public $225 dollars.
Personally, I am incensed by this gratuitous legislative violation of every American’s right to “Life, Liberty, and the Asymptotic Pursuit of Nudity Without Ever Actually Achieving It and Thereby Being Arrested.”
However, I could probably understand such a law, having myself made plenty of comments in regard to the skinny-challenged among us who insist on stuffing themselves into crazy things like bikinis and sometimes even jeans.
Most disturbing, though, is that Myrtle Beach officials are a bunch of racist bastards legally mandating racist behavior, and we’re letting them get away with it!
It doesn’t matter what color you are, what gender, what religion, who you are, where you come from, or how well behaved you are–if you ride on two wheels, the Myrtle Beach town council doesn’t want anything to do with you.
That’s right, these people are racist–against motorcyclists of all races!
For those of you unfamiliar with our little rally here, Bike Week typically draws some 100,000 predominantly white Harley riders the week before memorial day, followed by the Black Biker Rally which draws more than double that number a week later, along with a load of extra “Busas, bling, and badonkadonk”. Having become a staple of the city, many businesses and bike shops depend on the revenues from these rallies to stay afloat, and innumerable college students have manged to work their way through school solely because of bikers’ insatiable appetite for food, fun, and inebriation. But a recent anti-rally sentiment welling up in Myrtle Beach’s councilmen and citizens has produced a slew of new laws which have effectively cut the number of rally-goers in half.
Besides banning thongs – which for some reason are substantially more revealing and inappropriate than those g-string bikinis people wear just a few blocks down on the beach everyday – officials also created 15 laws governing noise levels, mandatory helmets and eye protection, along with new ones just this year regulating the use of parking lots, loitering, bar closing times, and open containers, as well as instituting an overnight curfew for those under 18.
Some bikers chose to adhere to these new rules and made due in a a nearly suffocating atmosphere chock full of police presence. But about half chose to stay out of jail this year by just not coming. There have been efforts to move the rally to just outside the Myrtle Beach area, or perhaps even attempt a compromise with city council members which would overturn laws obviously intended to make it impossible for large crowds of bikes to gather together.
But some won’t have compromise: they want extermination. Tom Rice, a Myrtle Beach resident and member of the Take Back May Committee intent on eliminating the rallies altogether, told the Sun News:
“The people that profit from these things believe in tourism at all cost. In my opinion, the cost is too great in human life, the cost in human injury, the cost to our quality of life, the cost to our public safety and the cost to our reputation. When you add it all up, the cost is too great.”
Mr. Rice’s concerns are merited. What I can’t understand, though, is why the congestion, the danger, the risk, and the risque behavior of a bunch of men and women on motorcycles is somehow less manageable, less understandable, and less forgivable than the antics committed daily by partying college students. Officials are preserving the right of teenagers to gather en masse every spring break for the sole purpose of drinking, smoking, and committing other acts of debauchery, while simultaneously committing political genocide against all motorcyclists.
Despite the “sound” reasoning of the TBMC, their case is based on accepting and perpetuating the age-old stigma that bikers are a rough, rowdy, atheistic bunch of confederate-flag-waving black panthers with Hell’s Angels on their backs, tattoos on their buttocks, beards on their bitches, and a cult-like obsession for lawlessness, godlessness, lewdness, pot, pipes, sex, and unspeakably sinful acts of all kinds. When bikers are good, they are exceptions to the rule, like Booker T. or DuBoise or Jackie Robinson. But when the bad apples of the bunch act out, oh, well, it’s proof of their true nature.
Bikers looking for a gathering spot here in the Southeast will eventually be forced to look elsewhere, like Atlanta or Daytona, or even the mecca of all biker rallies–the holy land of Sturgis, South Dakota, where public nudity, drunkenness, and asinine behavior are glorified year in and year out to the joy of the six or seven residents who own very empty bars the other 51 weeks of the year.