Ok fine… I’ll admit it; there are times when I can be a total prick when it comes to cars. This however only takes place when I find them offensive. Take this 1996 Honda Accord that is currently listed on eBay for example – it offends me. Not so much because of what it is, but because of what was done to it. One day 14 years ago this little Accord rolled off the assembly line with the dream of making someone very happy. It was filled with the hopes of serving as reliable transportation to an individual or family. All the right attributes were there. A peppy 4-cylinder engine, great fuel economy and most of all Honda’s legendary reliability.
But then somewhere along its lifetime this little Honda went astray… it was corrupted by the powers that be and turned to the dark side of the force. It’s a story we’ve heard a thousand times before and one that ends just as tragically. First an aftermarket stereo was added, then speakers and boombastic’ amp. Rims and tires where next (non-matching), followed by the flatulent sounds of an aftermarket exhaust system (muffler only)… now, it was only a matter of time.
Next was the addition of a non-painted body kit, aftermarket seats and the ever-present super sized rear wing that does absolutely nothing. But this wasn’t good enough… it wanted more. Non-racing, racing seats (purchased second hand) were added in conjunction with harnesses that were installed incorrectly. But tragically the final nail in the coffin came by way of a weapon that is like a mistress to a politician… the Sawzall. The final breath of the little Accord took place when it’s sunroof, the virtual window to the cars soul, was cut out and cast aside like a piece of everyday trash. Left now is only a shell of a once reliable family sedan. Its good intentions squandered and it’s dreams crushed under the heel of an amateur customizer.
We now bid you farewell “Little Honda that Could” and wish you bliss in the automotive afterlife… Vios Con Dios little Honda… Vios Con Dios…