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NYIAS: You Can’t Polish a Turd.

Posted in Jeep, Lexus, New York Auto Show, NEW YORK INTERNATIONAL AUTO SHOW, Nissan, Porsche, Scion by MrAngry | April 2nd, 2010 | 2 Responses |

Cars, like people sometimes get a raw deal as far as looks go. Sure you can dress them up and give them some new shoes, but at the end of the day they still look like they got hit in the face with a bag of hammers. This was unfortunately true for a select few vehicles at this years show.

• The Nissan Juke

Nissan Juke

I mean really, how many sets of lights does one car need? We’ve got lights on the hood, lights in the grill, and then underneath on the chin spoiler even more lights – these were itty bitty though. The Nissan Juke hasn’t even been released in the U.S. yet, but I fear that if it does make it to our shores, it’s going to be the butt of more than a few jokes.

• Infinity Q56

Lexus Q56

Say hello to the fat chick at the prom. She’s the one that nobody wants to dance with except the guys that are the proverbial chubby chasers. She’ll probably rock your world if given the chance, but first you have to dig deep and claw your way through the layers of excess tonnage that’s in your way. Who knows? Maybe, if you dig deep enough you’ll find some sort of hidden treasure. Just make sure to bring one hell of a shovel.

• Porsche Panamera

Porsche Panamera

I swear that the Porsche Panamera was modeled after one of the designers pet turtles. Either that or Porsche as a whole as an insensate love for jelly beans. The Panamera, in my opinion, does not have one attractive line on it’s entire body. Like the fat Lexus above it may be able to perform, but damn if they didn’t send it out wearing a crappy set of trousers.

• Jeep Compass: Snow Edition

Jeep Compass Snow Edition

Take a product that’s already short on style and make it worse – that’s what Chrysler did with this laughable version of the Jeep Compass. I think they called it the snow because they were doing an 8-ball of cocaine when they designed it. They took the most incapable Jeep product of all time, gave it a BS quasi-lift and then stuck road tires on it. Hey Chrysler – WTF?

• Scion IQ

Scion IQ

I’m actually not seeing much in the way of a high IQ here. Why manufactures are so insistent on touting their smallest econo-boxes as performance cars is beyond me. This IQ looks like the typical bloated little guy that works out in the gym for 5 hours a day. He’s all big and puffed up, but in the end he’s still just a tiny over sized runt trying to fit into some bigger shoes.

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2 Responses

  1. Alexander Soltes says:

    Umm…Lexus Q56? no no Infiniti!