It’s no longer enough that bug-eyed aliens visit us in our sleep to perform bizarre medical experiments or harvest our organs. Now the thieving little bastards are trying to steal our cars, too. At least that’s what two NH teens are claiming happened to them in Laconia, NH on March 20.
An 18 year old girl and her 16 year old boyfriend borrowed her mother’s car and drove to an “undisclosed” location in Laconia, one that conveniently resembles a secluded parking lot. While sitting in the car, in separate seats of course, the pair was glancing at the moon when the girl noticed the “weird black-shaped object”. It must have been weird, since last time I checked, black was a color and not a shape.
The pair panicked when the object (or color, whatever it was) flew towards them. The teens attempted to drive away, only to have their car lifted off the ground and dropped some 200 feet distant. The car landed on an asphalt curb, leaving indentations that are remarkably similar to those caused by a car running over the curb. Which must be purely coincidental, of course.
Since there’s no other logical explanation for this, the pair must have been carjacked by aliens. Lucky for them that the spacecraft had a defective tractor beam, or who knows where they could have wound up. As for me, I’ve got 13 rounds of .45 caliber discouragement with E.T.’s name on them, just in case.