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Modified Cars: The Evil That Men Do

Posted in Car Photography, Custom, General by Geoff | August 9th, 2008 | 3 Responses |

Problem is (as if there's just one) it's FWD. Doh!
Problem is (as if there’s just one) it’s FWD. Doh!

I’d like to think that I have a fairly good sense of humor.  (Doesn’t everyone?)  So if someone takes a previously crap-tacular car and further craps it up for a chuckle; I’m ok with that.  But for those that in sincerity perform plastic surgery on a car so extreme that it would make Michael Jackson say, “That’s ignorant,” there surely is for them a special section in Hell.  So, with that in mind and at the risk of losing a part of my own soul, I share with you a few gems from the world of unholy modified cars.

The Great White Dope
The Great White Dope

Clearly part of the Prelude “species,” this pains me on a personal level as I own this very car; albeit not in “satin” white.  The two, no make it three worst things about this car are its large overhanging wheel wells, periscopic-RAM-air-esque-hoodscoop and cab-forward side view mirrors for reduced usability.  Considering this is a front wheel drive vehicle I’m sure it handles fantastically (it even has a wing afterall!) with whatever crate motor from Ford it has under the hood; that is if it has such an engine at all.  My guess is that the scoop and hood pins are for “show.”

Carrot Top, you're ride is here.
Carrot Top, your ride is here.

I don’t really know what this is, some sort of wagon, but the interior looks like the creature Bugs Bunny gave a haircut to that was all hair and feet.   The best part is the wicked electroshocks you can give your little brother if you wear corduroy pants. 

I said I wanted the BIG spoiler!
I said I wanted the BIG spoiler!

I hope to God this is some sort of kit car and not a real 911.  The only thing worse than the “wing of all wings” on this thing is the color, which is a lovely beige/taupe color refrigerators and stoves from the 1970′s were made in.

From the company that invented the Muscle Car.  Seriously.
From the company that invented the Muscle Car. Seriously.

Wait.  This was an actual PRODUCTION car?  You’re kidding?  Actually, I heard Rosie O’Donnell was a big fan of the Aztec.  For camping and what not….

Integr-huh?
Integr-huh?

Someone saved up their money and got the car paint equivalent of an “Everything Bagel” at Maaco.  I almost feel bad saying anything because clearly alot of work went into this, but if Ridelust teaches us anything, it is that moderation is key.

Just as pretty from the rear.
Just as pretty from the rear.

This beauty is maybe not completely deserving of this list.  But with the veritable Taurus love-fest around here lately “the power of Vito compelled me” to include this bad boy, which looks like the product of 3-way between a Taurus wagon, the Family Truckster, and a shiny turd.  (Oh wait, I already said a Taurus wagon.)

Commence the hate mail.

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3 Responses

  1. Vito Rispo says:

    “…for reduced usability.”

    hilarious article.

  2. Guyon says:

    Glad we share opinions on this crap. I saw an older Honda Civic the other day so heavily modified I’m considering that the person may have bought that piece of crap to make it look ugly as a joke.

  3. Phil says:

    Although this post is quite old, I thought I might as well point out that it’s a bit silly to include the first pic in the article. It clearly looks like they’ve dropped a RWD crate motor in the CRX, thereby converting it from FWD to RWD.

    This type of mod isn’t common, but happens often enough. For instance, one of my friends converted one of the CRX hatches to AWD, just because he could.