If you hate speed trap cameras, you have a friend in Dave Vontesmar of Phoenix. He thinks they’re a blatant money grab, and he’s probably right. This flight attendant who commutes more than 30 miles per day was recently served by state officials with notices of 37 different open violations captured on camera. Despite the fact that it’s his car, Vontesmar is claiming he’s not the driver, and he shouldn’t pay for the tickets. You see, what is actually in the driver’s seat in the photos is, depending on the day, either a monkey or a giraffe. That has lead Vontesmar to challenge the tickets, saying that if you compare his driver’s license photo to that of the monkey, it clearly doesn’t match up. And if you can prove you weren’t the driver of the car receiving the speeding violation, you get out of the ticket in Arizona. Is there really just a speed-loving, gorilla-masked wearing lunatic on the loose, who commutes in Vontesmar’s car to Vontesmar’s job every day from his home? Or has Vontesmar hit on some new super-strategy to stick it to the man?
Eh, not so much. Says Officer Dave Porter, who spent weeks tracking down the masked bandit and identifying him as Vontesmar, “We watched him four different times put the monkey mask on and put the giraffe-style mask on. Based on surveillance, we were positive that Vontesmar was the driver.” Seems like Arizona officials are working on a way to make his tickets stick, and additionally to reissue old tickets that expired before DPS officers tracked him down to his lair of civil disobedience. In the end, it looks like the mask fits, so we can’t acquit Vontesmar … and we also can’t recommend this tactic.