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Five Cars Men Should Never Drive to Impress A Woman

Posted in Best of, Chrysler, General, Honda, Lists, Mazda, Mini, Top of the Heap, Volkswagen by Jennifer Nicole | February 18th, 2011 | 24 Responses |

I’m commonly asked which cars women find the least attractive for men to drive. Honestly, this is a tough one, as the truth is that there are many cars out there that no man should ever step in to. To narrow them down I decided to choose the top five cars of the decade that make me cringe. My first thought was the PT Cruiser from Chrysler. I’m still trying to figure out the reason as to why that car was ever made, as it’s one of the most disappointing automobiles I’ve ever seen. Nothing about it makes me want to touch it. Think of it like that person you have to sit next to with bad body oder in a crowded room that you’re repulsed by. For just under 20k I’m surprised that Chrysler even had the audacity to regularly rotate them onto their homepage before they went out of production last year. There is no way on this green earth that a woman will find a man more attractive regardless of how much he modifies it. A quick note to PT Cruiser owners; please stand AWAY from your car if you want to pick up on a girl and certainly don’t bother to valet.

Photo Credit: VW

Another obvious and notable choice is the VW Beetle. I’m not referring to the older versions known best as a surfer staple, but the ones produced from 1998 to present day and designed by J. Mays and Freeman Thomas. There is no reason for a man to drive this car unless he is part of the glee club. Any car that comes standard with a vase to put fresh flowers inside should tell a man that it is not a suitable choice. Let’s face it, the Beetle was meant as a car for fathers to give to their daughters as a safe upgrade to the Barbie Dream Car that she had when she was five.

Unless you’re below the maximum height requirement of 5’8″, the Mazda Miata is not for you. I am compelled to add this to the list because nine times out of ten when I see this car on the road it’s always being driven by a guy who is about 6’2” and too tall to drive it. Here’s a tip; when your head goes OVER the windshield, that is not attractive. When I see a big guy driving this car two things come to mind. First, he is the type of guy that doesn’t feel the need to spread his legs and the small cramped Miata doesn’t bother him in the least. Secondly he’d rather be sitting in a Ferrari F430 but can’t afford one. The next option down the line would be a Corvette and further down the list is the Mazda Miata (usually in red).

Photo Credit: AutoGuide

For the money you can buy a new Ford Mustang if you really want a convertible; or get a used Nissan 350Z or 3-series BMW, both of which will definitely get you more looks than a Miata. Oh, and a note to all you 3-series haters let me explain this clearly. Unfortunately most girls do not know the difference between a 1, 3 , 5 or 7-series. It is a BMW and that’s all they see. A 3-series Bimmer is like a Coach handbag; it’s not premium like Chanel but that doesn’t matter because it’s still a reputable and respected name.

Mini Coopers are questionable. If you wear skinny jeans or bear any resemblance to Justin Bieber then this could work for you. If on the other hand you play aggressive sports, enjoy heavy metal or go out regularly with women, this car says nothing about your true personality.  This car is most ideal for a younger guy. Although fun loving is the Cooper’s personality, this car doesn’t tell me that you know what you’re doing and that you’re going to show me a night I’ll never forget. This car is like the friend who can never get out of the friend zone. Reason being is that every time I look at this car I want to hug it. It’s reminiscent to being a character in Disney’s Pixar animation film CARS. It’s SO CUTE and “cute” is not how you want to have a girl talk about your car.

Our last car is the Honda Insight, which was produced from 2000-2006. This car may be one of the most affordable hybrid cars manufactured but it is also one of the most disfigured and hideous cars made in the last decade. The rear fender skirts give me the wrong visual of a photograph that was mass emailed to me about 6 years ago. This car is all ass and the tires are too skinny to be carrying such a wide load. Nothing about this car screams sexy and it’s doubtful that any girl in her right mind would be attracted to it. If you want to go green at least show you have some taste and choose wisely.

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24 Responses

  1. Jen says:

    Ooooh Kurt won’t be happy about the Miata being on this list! =P I personally don’t mind it men drive Miatas because at least it has a reputation as an enthusiasts’ car because of its own merit, not just looks. I would have swapped this out with the last-gen MR2 Spyder which is definitely a chick car

    Agree with the PT Cruiser (and no, the GT Cruiser doesn’t make it any better, whatsoever). And of course the Beetle shouldn’t be driven by ANYONE wanting to be taken seriously, but that’s just my opinion.

    I would also agree with the Mini, to a point. It all depends on the model. I would take a guy driving a JCW Mini a lot more seriously than one driving a base model. (Sadly, I realize most girls don’t know the difference and thus, this is a moot point. Which leads me to again, sadly agreeing with your assessment of BMWs to purses…yup).

    And if you’re going to include the 1st gen Insight, you may as well include the current gen Insight too, and also the Prius it so obviously was copied from.

    I would also add to this list “a beater”. I don’t mean base model, cheap cars…I mean cars that are beat to hell and back, dents, 4 different colors (including Bondo gray), 2 different types of wheels, ripped seats, you get the idea. It tells me if they don’t care about their car, they probably don’t care about a lot of other things in their life.

    • Jennifer Nicole says:

      I like you already. :)

      It’s funny that you mentioned the John Cooper Works series of mini’s! I had originally added those in my article as an exception to the base model Cooper. That car looks like it could eat my teddy bears which makes it ok in my book for a man to drive it.

      I completely agree with you on beater cars but I was writing about base model cars you can buy and shouldn’t. You have a serious point to the relationship between a guy and his car versus a guy and his girlfriend. If the car looks neglected, chances are some one else will be too.

      Thanks for the comment.. You had me laughing out loud on the bondo gray comment, do you live in LA? That’s a common sight here. hahaha

      • Jen says:

        LOL thanks. I live in Florida, actually. We see a lot less bondo (and green body kits on red Integras) these days than we used to, thank goodness

    • db says:

      If this article is accurate, I’m not sure I want to impress any woman anymore. Say what you want about the beetle being a chick car, it’ll age better than the other 4th generation vw golf platform spin-offs, except the tt. Just wait. In 20 years a well-maintained new beetle is going to be a really interesting car, particularly diesels. It is a shame that vw didn’t make a rear-engined one, but I don’t see how a beetle is truly any worse than any golf except insofar as it makes some practicality compromises in the name of design commitment, a trait it shares with all sorts of apparently “impressive” cars the author suggests. As for the rest… uh… screw your taste in cars. The miata is one of the best driving cars I’ve ever driven and puts a gigantic smile on my face whenever I drive mine. I like waving at other middle-aged men out blasting around town with the top down. We’re all having a good time, and rarely breaking the speed limit to do it. Minis are excellent too, particularly the later turbo models. pt cruisers aren’t great, but they get a bad wrap because they were on fire when they showed up and they failed to forge a permanent niche. I really don’t understand anyone calling it ugly. Really. In a world with any number of faceless jellybeans, this car has some serious design commitment. I mean, isn’t this just kicking the interesting kid when his shtick got old? Look at all the don’t-care-about-life-anymore-just-kill-me-mobiles out there like the Kia Rondo. Or the Dodge Journey. Or the honda cr-v. Or the hyundai elantra touring. Or the volvo xc60. Aside from the shape though, I just see a tall neon srt4 waiting for the right paint and wheels. Anyone who thinks that’s a loser car is mistaking installed content level with excellence in the rough. There’s a 400 hp sleeper wagon lurking in the turbo models of that thing. You just gotta rip out all the crummy parts. And the first gen insight was a borderline genius vehicle designed to optimize honda’s integrated motor assist. skirts and skinny wheels and a sharply truncated tail are parts of the package that makes that car work. Any woman who scoffs at these cars doesn’t understand cars, just the size of a man’s wallet or how poorly he plans for the future. So basically, if this author’s comments represent women, apparently women are golddigging airheads. Which they aren’t, plainly. Go sit-n-spin with your “women don’t care which bmw it is” blather.

      • db says:

        ….aaaand… the mr2 spyder was a fantastic little car too, whose only crimes were not having any storage and not being quite as much fun as a miata. That car had room for more motor. Shame on toyota to let that little blast fester and die.

  2. winkosmosis says:

    Don’t worry, nobody is trying to impress YOU

  3. evak says:

    I am happily married to a Miata driver but I have to tell you it’s my dream for us to get a Mini Cooper. They are soo hot. Maybe my husband would disagree but I think the most manly of men drive either a Cooper or a Miata. I mean, if you are going to judge a guy’s personality and how good he is in bed, then this girl says a guy with a Miata or Mini is a total hunk.

  4. Adam says:

    Miatas are the least manly cars ever made. Ever!!! One might even call such a car “gay” if one was inclined to use such a word to describe this girlie little poofter-mobile.

    I feel this stereotype should be spread as often as possible in as many forums as possible.

    Miatas are gay! Miatas are girlie! Miatas are not worth your time! Go buy a Mustang! Girls will be all up ons. You’ll have to beat them off with a stick. Whereas with a Miata, you’ll just be beating off.

    Spread the word.

  5. Don’t fret boys, she’s just trying to get attention.

  6. jammer says:

    The cheapest BMW 3-series is $10,000 more than an MX-5. Convertible Mustang is $5,000 more. A new 370Z Roadster is $14,000 more!!! What is this chick smoking?

  7. Lefty says:

    Interesting, and a first for me: reading something written by someone who clearly knows nothing about cars, men, or the English language using that same English language to write about……wait for it….cars and men. Consider another profession.

  8. The_Black_Stig says:

    Buick perhaps?

  9. Kurt Ernst says:

    :facepalm: The very fact that I have to defend the Miata tells me you’ve never driven one. When I bought my current MX-5 (an ’06), I was ready to buy an S2000. Use that for your budget and ask yourself how many new and used cars fell into that price range. If I wanted a Mustang, or a Corvette, they both would have been in the budget. Ask yourself this: how many spec racer series are there for Mustangs only? How about Corvettes? Now ask the same question about Miatas; I can name 2 (SCCA’s Spec Miata and the Playboy MX-5 Cup) off the top of my head. Sure, there are those who buy it because it’s a “cute convertible” at an affordable price, but there are still those among us who buy them because they’re the best sports car for the price. Period.

    Sixteen year old girls aside, there are two kinds of women who care what you drive: the first charges by the hour (and the nicer the car, the steeper the rate) and those who’ll leave you with a lifelong need for Valtrex.

    • Spaz says:

      I’ve never heard of your website before but I know now not to take it seriously. Written by morons for morons. Hey guys.. getting hits counts for nothing if everyone who finds your inflammatory article leaves with the impression your site is written by retards.

      • Kurt Ernst says:

        Relax, dude, and don’t have a stroke over one article. I’m guessing from your e-mail address that you’re a Miata guy; so am I, and I’ve written more than a few articles on the car. If you don’t like what Jennifer Nicole has to say, there’s plenty of other stuff on the site to read. Search by my name or by Mr. Angry’s name, and you’ll probably find something that you’ll like.

  10. Brandon says:

    I bought my 2004 Mazdaspeed edition for $13k. If the author can find me a convertible that new, that quick, and for that much which makes your face hurt from the grin you have on country/mountain roads, I’ll buy her a Chanel purse.

    Speaking of purses, my girlfriend likes her purses by Kate Spade, and keeps her Chanel glasses in them. If you want ‘exclusivity’ find something limited edition (like my car, it’s one of 4,000) and not some mass produced suburban 4-door (3 series) or rich hilbilly-mobile (Corvette, the interior plastic wonder). She doesn’t care what car I drive, she just screams and covers here eyes on entrance/exit ramps.

    I’ll agree on the Beetle and PT (ew yuck based on a Neon) if either are driven cowardly. Though nothing could stop someone with enough balls from driving either, and they’d get respect for doing so unashamedly.

    I’d love a Cooper S if I needed the extra room. I’m currently too busy having an excuse not to have to drive or help people move.

    And you do realize 99.9999% of the world wants a 430 and cant afford one… don’t you?

    • Jennifer Nicole says:

      Hey Brandon-
      As I should’ve mentioned in my article (before some people got incredibly offended), we should remember that ultimately it doesn’t matter what car you drive but who you are. Cars are first impressions but don’t (and should never) decide whether or not a girl will date you. If that is the case, run like hell from any girl who makes that judgement. This article was meant to be more humorous than serious. I’m glad to hear your girlfriend has fun in your car and that is what matters most. I’ve been in beater cars and had great times with guys and I’ve been turned off by men in Ferrari’s too. It really depends on the driver.
      As for Ferrari’s, I have personally had seat time in a 360, 430, F-40 and 458 and I would actually decline to own one. They are so expensive to maintain that it would probably spend more time in the shop than out on the road allowing me to have a perma-grin. I would prefer a Porsche!

      • Nate says:

        Ok, so we know what you don’t like, so… list 5 cars in the same price bracket (go on original MSRP, so we don’t play the used / rebates game) that you DO find “impressive”.

        Personally I am left scratching my head at the Mini and maybe the MX-5 being in the list…

      • Werner says:

        Ferraris, not Ferrari’s.

  11. chkltcow says:

    Your attempt at humor has failed miserably. I don’t care how much seat time you’ve had in a Ferrari, nobody that has a clue about cars makes fun of two of the most fun “cheap” cars on the market today.

    Here’s an idea of a car you shouldn’t drive if you want to impress a woman….. a Camry… or perhaps an Accord. When is the last time you saw someone driving their generic white Camry down the street and said “WOW… a Camry! I bet that person is interesting and exciting. I should approach them and see what they have to say!”

    A Corvette, 3 Series convertible, or Mustang Convertible might have more of whatever “it” is that attracts shallow women… but I certainly wouldn’t pick one over a Miata.

  12. Meg says:

    I’m glad to see that people have come to the Miata’s defense, it is needed…. It’s an insult to say that anyone who sits in a Miata wishes they were sitting in an F430. You can give me the Ferrari, but you sure as hell aren’t taking my Miata in return…

    Never mind it’s a bit of an insult to tell guys to “just buy a 3-series Bimmer, girls don’t know the difference.” If ANY guy tried to hit on me with a 325i in the parking lot I’m going to laugh in his face… And you’re losing extra points if it’s an SUV.

    But hey, if you want to hit on retarded chicks who don’t know anything about cars just drop the keys to your Boxster in her lap and watch her gush over the fact that you have a Porsche. There, problem solved.

    One last bit: I’m *starting* my foray into awesome sports cars with Porsche. I will own multiple Ferraris. No, the maintenance on all of them ISN’T out of reach, but don’t tell people that. I don’t need the market to dry up on 348’s on me all of a sudden. (It annoys me when people talk about Porsche and Ferrari like they’re on the same level. They aren’t, save for maybe three Porsches and perhaps the race cars, like in ALMS and Le Mans.)

  13. Rhys says:

    You did not just insult a miata.
    Girls love my roadster.

  14. Oliver says:

    LOL on the miata, you’re way off base. I drive a moderately modified mazdaspeed mx5. My friends I hang out with most drive heavily modified wrx, mazdaspeed 3, g37s. Everywhere we go together in a caravan, I’ve got women complimenting my car trying to make conversation, while they get dudes trying the same. I’ve outright had 2 offers from guys wanting to buy my car on the spot, and would not leave me alone (one was the owner the detailing shop working on my car). That’s never happened to any of my friends. I’ve had a national level competitive autocross instructor say, anyone who insults a miata, its a dead giveaway they have no clue what driving at the limit is about. That came from a guy who drives a porsche gt3, who also happened to keep referring to my car as a ‘fine weapon’. My friends have all borrowed my car before, and all of them admit, their cars can’t compete in fun factor at all.

  15. jzEllis says:

    HA! car advice from a woman! If having the right car mattered to wemen, then 99% of guys would never get anywhere with women-epscially with the boring cars available these days.

    that said, I used to drive a 1992 Dream cruiser for 3 years (daily driver) and I was killing it in the lady department, so go figure. (I don’t think it got me any tail in and of itself, but honestly, most females just done’t care)