We’re growing a little weary of constantly educating SUV and truck owners on the fine art of suitability, and our eBay Motors Ride of the Day perfectly illustrates why.

Even though we seriously doubt this rig as ever seen any off-road time [except for when it had to park on the grass at the Angry, Young & White Music Festival], we could handle the just-barely legal 14-inch off-roading lift. Unfortunately, the mods on this “show” HUMMER didn’t stop there and when we realized the interior has been wired to carry around 5,000 watts of power, we just threw our collective hands in the air and cracked open the flask we keep in our old hollowed-out Haynes repair manual.

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According to the owner this was a “show” truck, so theoretically, we could excuse [under extreme duress] some of the more garish accessories…but seriously, a HUMMER H2 is already enormous without a lift, and they still threw 14 inches on it? And the plates are from Texas? It’s like the jokes could write themselves, folks.