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Death Wish: Davey Jones’ Locker Edition – the ‘Phibian

Posted in Bizarre, Car Tech, Custom, Death Wish, Electric Cars, Electric Vehicles, Micro Cars, Off-Roading, Safety by Alex Kierstein | August 17th, 2009 | 1 Response |

This is Death Wish, where we examine horrendously dangerous and ill-conceived vehicles and revel in their insanity. Fancy a swim in the briny deep in an aluminum wedge with no windows? Shiver me timbers! Carrying on the theme from two weeks ago, this week’s harbinger of doom is triangular, slow, and extremely dangerous. Join us as we examine the morbid appeal of an amphibious coffin designed by a conceptual artist.

Today’s Implement of Destruction: the John Young ‘Phibian


Was a tiny land-based triangular “car” not scary enough for you? Do you want to be able to drive down to the shore and hijack extremely slow moving boats? Do you have fantasies about drowning in a glorified shopping cart? John Young has you covered.

<i>Button down the hatches and prepare to dive uncontrollably!</i>

Button down the hatches and prepare to dive uncontrollably!

This might be the most perfect Death Wish vehicle yet found. It is profoundly impractical (it was designed as an art piece!). Despite being designed as an amphibian, it looks incredibly unseaworthy, so bonus points for that particular irony. It runs on bicycle tires and is powered by two golf cart motors. Oh, and did we mention it is entirely without windows?

<i>This should strike fear in your heart.</i>

This should strike fear in your heart.

We agree with Young that seeing where you’re going is WAY overrated. Especially in the ocean – what is there to hit? A kelp pothole? Bring some water wings and you’ll be fine, guy. Plus you have a nifty radar dish so you can navigate without any visual input, kind of like a submarine!

<i>We don't need no stinkin' windows!</i>

We don't need no stinkin' windows!

Except submarines travel UNDER the water, whereas the Phibian travels at an agonizingly slow pace (more of a weak wallow) that virtually guarantees that any current you encounter will suck you out to open ocean faster than you can say “burial at sea.” But don’t be a landlubbing art hater. What’s the worst that could happen … that you martyr yourself for your art? Such a noble way to go …


Check out the link below to view the ad.

[Source: Ebay Motors]

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One Response

  1. Mike the Dog says:

    Some cars have satnav. This one has a fish finder. I suppose it’s great for finding that school of bass, but not so much for avoiding the flotilla of Billy-Bobs in 125 horse Bass boats that are also chasing it down.