The government’s top Clunker Executioners have released instructions to dealerships on how to administer lethal injections to their potential clunkers. The procedure sounds so brutal, so inhumane, so … irreversible, that we are hiding the details after the jump. We recommend keeping anyone who faints at the sight of oil to avert your eyes. Click through to read how it all works.
Dealerships are required to obtain a supply of sodium silicate, which is a substance that is colloquially known as “liquid glass.” It has some unique properties – it dissolves readily in water like a salt, but precipitates out at around 200 degrees F to form a hard glass-like substance. Once it comes out of solution, that substance is really nasty, and won’t melt below 1500 degrees F. Perfect for destroying an engine! After making a 40% sodium silicate and 60% water solution, the dealer will drain out all the engine oil and replace it with the solution. Then they turn on the car, and run it at 2000 RPM until it lurches to a stop. Then, dealers are required to wait an hour and try turning on the car – in all likelihood, it will be completely seized. The result, friends, is a properly disabled clunker.
You can see the government’s instructions in a file available HERE (will open a .pdf file).