In Trans Mara, Africa, paramilitary officers from the Kenyian General Service Unit were surprised recently when the occupants of a luxury SUV that had broken down in front of unit headquarters refused police assistance. After the occupants fled the scene on foot, the Trans Mara police proceeded to inspect the vehicle and through the course of the search, they became a little less startled by the passengers’ behavior. Apparently, the abandoned SUV was loaded with approximately $20,000 worth of marijuana, a fact that the Trans Mara police did not find in itself to be incredibly startling. ‘When the occupants refused assistance and fled, officers became suspicious and searched the vehicle,’ Trans Mara police chief Joshua Omukata told The Standard Paper.
“Who will govern the governors? There is only one force in the nation that can be depended upon to keep the government pure and the governors honest, and that is the people themselves. They alone, if well informed, are capable of preventing the corruption of power, and of restoring the nation to its rightful course if it should go astray. They alone are the safest depository of the ultimate powers of government”
- Thomas Jefferson
As you may or may not be aware, the Fourth Amendment to the Constitution contains an exception to the unreasonable search and seizure laws. It allows invasive searches at border checkpoints that wouldn’t be allowed anywhere else. It’s always been that way…but here comes the scary part: federal statute 8 CFR 287.1 (a)(1-3) defines the border zone as actually encompassing an area within 100 miles inland of the actual border, with the possibility of extending it further under certain circumstances. This zone has become known as the “Constitution-Free Zone”
Ok, you’re thinking, “100 miles, that’s not that bad… the US is a big country, we have plenty of space, right?” Wrong. That 100 mile extension puts nine of the top 10 largest metropolitan areas completely inside the Constitution-Free Zone. More than that, 12 states are completely within the zone: Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Hawaii, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island and Vermont. In California, 99.73% of all residents are living in the Constitution-Free Zone; more than that, 2/3rds of all US citizens are living in the zone, and at any time they can be deprived of their Constitutional rights.
Yesterday, a Swedish court ruled that a 49-year-old woman’s severe case of diarrhea did not constitute valid cause for violating the speed limit. Clocked doing 53 mph in a 43 mph zone, the women explained to the officer who initiated the traffic stop that she was forced to exceed the speed limit due to her unfortunate digestive problems. Although federal law does allow the speed limit to be broken in cases of emergency, events that constitute an “emergency” are strictly limited to those that endanger a person’s life or involve a serious a crime.
A teaser video showing the new, SVT-tuned Ford F-150 Raptor in action has hit the media recently, generating some fresh hype for Ford’s newest pickup truck. Tentatively scheduled for release in 2010, the Ford has been overheard boasting to its dealer network that the F-150 Raptor will be “The first and only Baja 1000 Trophy Truck you’ll be able to buy from a dealer.” Obviously intended to be the off-roading expert of the F-150 family, the F-150 Raptor will be outfitted with customized Fox Racing long-travel shocks, 35″ all-terrain tires, and Ford’s 6.1L BOSS V8 engine, tentatively expected to produce 380 horsepower and 400 pound-feet of torque.
In celebration of the Philadelphia Phillies’ World Series victory Wednesday night, the city of brotherly love will be hosting a parade through Center City. A flatbed truck carrying the hero’s themselves will snake through Philly at noon today, and the parade route will stretch from 20th and Market Streets, around City Hall, and down Broad Street before finally ending with an hour-long celebration at Citizens Bank Park. In anticipation of the astronomically large concentration of fans that will attend the parade as well as the impending chaos bound to be cause by the fact that many liquor stores have chosen to remain open for business, city officials have encouraged people to abandon their personal vehicles in favor of transportation. As a result, SEPTA will most likely be stretched to maximum capacity, and many mass transit workers are currently polishing their personal firearms as we speak.
Mount Penn municipal worker Dave M. Woychehoski with a borough dump truck. Photo by Lauren A. Little, Reading Eagle
In Mount Penn, Pennsyvlania, a women complained to her state Sen. Michael A. O’Pake after observing what she believed to be a “McCain Palin” bumper sticker affixed to the back of a dump truck belonging to the borough. Incensed, the woman snapped a quick photo of the offensive sign and forwarded it to the Senator’s office. Upon receipt of the photo, Sen. O’Pake’s office contacted Mount Penn Mayor Joshua Nowotarski to ensure he was aware that municipalities were prohibited from publicly endorsing candidates. Reportedly shocked by the phone call, Nowotarski immediately contacted the borough road crew and went out to inspect the truck himself. After close inspection, it was determined that the complainant had apparently misread the truck’s manufacturer label, “McClain Galion.”
On Wednesday night, the Philadelphia Phillies won game five of the MLB World Series against the Tamp Bay Rays, clinching the 2008 World Series title in a 4-3 victory over the Tampa Bay Rays. In celebration of the victory, thousands of Phillies fans rioted in the street, releasing a level of aggression that can only be spawned by centuries of pure and utter failure.
In related news, my first child will be named “Brad Lidge.”
In California, a 37-year-old San Franciscan hairstylist was found guilty by a jury of his peers of possessing a $125,000 Porsche Carrera that had been stolen from an San Anselmo, CA home. In addition, the man also faces additional charges of auto theft for driving a stolen Lexus SUV to court the day he received his conviction. Apparently, authorities were alerted to the SUV when bystanders expressed concern over several Yorkshire terriers that had been roaming about inside the vehicle. When police observed the man exiting the building with keys to the Lexus in hand, he was promptly arrested on suspicion of possession of stolen property.
In Russia, a woman apparently slightly upset with her boyfriend turned her Toyota SUV into a battering ram, colliding repeatedly with her boyfriend’s Subaru. Although the color commentary is provided by an amazed mutual friend in a language no one here on the RideLust staff is familiar with, you don’t need the benefit of bilingual abilities to get the gist of what’s going on.
While the action itself isn’t entirely surprising when compared to what asshats here in America have proven capable of, there were a few aspects of the video that did surprise me and were perfectly echoed by a fellow viewer in the following comment: “That Toyota faired pretty well. And why isn’t the guy choking the shit out of her?” Here, here.
