The 1960′s gave birth to many wonderful things. We put a man on the moon, muscle cars were invented and someone out there invented the electric can opener. It was a time of technology and forward thinking, but somewhere along the lines hippies came into being, and well… that was just plain annoying. They were dirty, stinky and drove bad cars and what was even more annoying than that was that they gave birth to other little hippies who grew up to also drive bad cars. It’s a travesty I know, but one that we can’t avoid. Below is a short list of modern day hippie cars that have the capacity to make the performance car enthusiast want to slice their own wrists.

• Toyota Prius

We all know that Prius drivers want to save the planet. We also know that they love stuffing their ideals down the throats of other motorists. Keep in mind however that this doesn’t change the fact that the Prius is one of the crappiest cars on the road and that most car enthusiasts would rather dip their genitals in boiling vinegar then be seen driving one.

• Volkswagen Bus

It’s the original stoner-mobile and has helped generations of pot smokers get their wings. They’re built like a shoebox, painfully slow and ugly as sin, but that doesn’t change the fact that millions of hippies the world over see these little German tubs as the end all, be all of the hippie nation.

• Subaru Outback

A favorite of the old hippie crowd, the Outback is the car for those who want to seem politically correct in today’s world. It’s well built and versatile with just a hint of rebellion built into it. It’s no VW Bus mind you, but make no mistake, roll the windows up in this baby and you can toke it up with the best of them.

• Volkswagen Jetta Diesel Wagon

The Jetta Diesel Wagon is the car of choice for those young urban hipsters who think that driving a diesel will help them save the planet because a marketing team told them so. Sure it’s fuel efficient and will get you looks of praise from old toasted hippies throughout the world, but dear God, enough already.

• Nissan Leaf

Say hello to Nissan’s all electric mess of a car. It’s slow, will leave you stranded and at the end of the day, has an electric range of about 6 blocks. The real good hippies out there will tell you its the greatest thing since sliced bread and that we should all be driving electric vehicles. However they always fail to remember that these little suckers came over to the U.S. on boats that dole out more CO2 emissions than the entire state of New York…

Have you ever had the opportunity to purchase one of your dream cars, but for whatever reason, you passed on it? This happened to me about 7 years ago and I’ve been kicking myself ever since. Now while most people think of dream cars in terms of something exotic, I tend to go a little more blue collar… you know, like Dodge. You see Dodge, while not the greatest cars on the road, have always been innovators in terms of style and design. For years they’ve flipped the bird to conventional thinking while giving us some of the most outrageous and ridiculous cars the road has ever seen. Take for instance, the 1969 Dodge Daytona, a car that was 21-feet long with a 2-foot nosecone up front and a 4-foot wing in the rear. It was outrageous, but necessary as Dodge needed street going versions in order run their winged wonders in Nascar. Fast forward now to 1992 and the debut of the Dodge Viper, a car that paid homage to the Shelby Cobra’s of yesteryear. It had a 400 hp V10, had no door handles or windows, and was the equivalent of driving a modified ox-cart with a Saturn Five rocket strapped to its ass. Other cars like the hot-rodded, yet under powered Plymouth Prowler and retro PT Cruiser are other examples of Dodge’s willingness to think outside the box.

*Photo Credit: Hemmings.com

For me though, one vehicle that I’ve always lusted after was Dodge’s Li’l Red Express Truck that was built from 1978 to 1979. Based on a D150 pickup and equipped with a stout 360 C.I. V8 topped with a four-barrel carburetor, the 1978 Li’l Red Express was (believe it or not) the fastest American made vehicle from 0 to 100 MPH according to Car & Driver Magazine. Clad in red paint with a step-side bed, big-rig dual snorkel exhaust pipes and beautiful varnished wood in the rear, the Li’l Red Express was nothing short of awesome in a hopped up “look at me” package. I missed a great chance to pick one of these babies up some time ago, but unfortunately circumstance kept this little beastie out of my hands. Regardless though, the search will continue until I have the right one nestled safely in my garage next to my 1968 Dodge Charger and 1969 Dodge Daytona.

For me, the 1980′s conjure up visions of cars like the Lamborghini Countach, Ferrari Testarossa and Porsche 959. These were the super cars of the day and ones that I always hoped I would have a chance to drive. Most of them were outstanding performers by 1980′s standards, and have thus far, stood the test of time. There were however a select group of exotics built during the 1980′s that for one reason or another, never really caught on with the buying public. Maybe it had to do with spotty build quality, an exceedingly high price tag or the fact that they were underachievers. Whatever the reason though some of these big dollar cars simply didn’t make it and because of that, they sit below as part of this list.

• 1986 Porsche 928

Porsche originally created the 928 to replace the much loved Porsche 911 and broaden the brands appeal. Its front engine rear drive configuration never garnered much respect from Porsche enthusiasts, but the fact of the matter was that this baby was and still is, one of the best GT cars ever. It was comfortable, fast, looked good and handled great, but the fact that the engine wasn’t hanging over the rear wheels was just too much for the Porsche faithful to handle.

• 1985 Detomaso Pantera

The Detomaso Pantera is what you get when you mix Italian styling with American grunt. Designed by an American, but built in Italy, the Pantera’s greatest flaw was that the buying public simply didn’t know what to make of it. They were powered by mid-mounted Ford 351 Cleveland V8′s that enabled 0-60 times of around 5.5 seconds, so there was no doubt that the Pantera was fast. The melding of the two cultures however simply meant that your final product was a car with an identity crisis.

• 1981 DeLorean

Nothing says, “I do cocaine” like the 1981 Delorean. Manufactured in northern Ireland, the Delorean was the brain child of GM executive John Delorean. His goal was to build a cutting edge GT car that would appeal to the world over. Styling wise the Delorean was actually a very nice looking automobile. With a monocoque chassis, gull wing doors and stainless steal body panels it definitely had an appeal to it. However once it hit the market, people began to realize that the cars were not only underpowered but had severe reliability issues as well. Then in 1985 “Back to the Future” came out and gave the then defunct company some positive publicity, alas it was too late as the Delorean Motor Company hit the skids in 1982.

• 1986 Ferrari Mondial

The Ferrari Mondial is one of those rare cars that simply does not get the respect it deserves. You see it’s powered by the same 270 hp engine that powered the Ferrari 328 GTB, which means that it’s not only reliable, but easy to maintain. Its downfall however was its 2+2 configuration, something that has never been overly popular with Ferrari enthusiasts. What the Mondial does give it’s owners however, is piece of mind as they’re not only reliable but a great value.

• 1981 BMW M1

The BMW M1 was BMW’s first “M” car. It was powered by a mid-mounted 273 hp inline-6 that propelled the M1 to a top speed of 160 mph, a number that was not too shabby for 30 years ago. The cars wedge shape styling however seemed to confuse people who were more accustom to the boxy lines of BMW standard models.

• 1981 Lamborghini Jalpa

It’s tough being the low man on the company totem pole, especially when that company is Lamborghini. Truth be told the Lamborghini Jalpa is one of my favorite cars. It’s styling is not as crass as the Countach’s of the era and the car is simply easier to drive. Jalpa’s were powered by a 3.5-liter V8 that produced 255 bhp and 231 lbs.ft. of torque. That meant the car wasn’t as fast as it’s big brother, and in the eyes of the Lamborghini faithful, that simply wouldn’t do.

• 1987 Lotus Esprit Turbo

The Lotus Esprit is an automotive icon, there is no doubt about that. For all intents and purposes though, it seems to have been forgotten by the automotive public. Maybe its because it came with a turbo charged 4-banger instead of a V8, or maybe it’s because, in one form or another the Espirt has been around since 1976. Either way though it’s a damn shame because this car continues to be not only a great value, but one of the best looking cars ever to come out of Britain.

• 1989 Vector W8 Twin Turbo

Image: Karrmann

Back in the mid-1980′s the notion of the United States building a super car was pretty far fetched to the rest of the world. That however didn’t stop Detroit native Gerald Wiegert from trying. The Vector W8 Twin Turbo was a hammer of an automobile producing 625 hp from its twin-turbo V8 and running to 60 mph in 4.2 seconds. Alas, with a price tag of $455,000 back in 1989, there were very few people who were willing to take a chance on a car company with no history.

• 1988 Aston Martin Virage

God I hate this car. I hate this car because it simply looks like the fat over-bloated result of corporate decision making. The Virage wasn’t a bad car, in as much as it was a melting pot of parts from other manufacturers. The headlights for example were off of an Audi 200 with the taillights being from a VW Scirocco. Combine that with crappy GM sourced dash components and a Ford steering column and you’ve got a car that was doomed to fail before it even began.

• 1983 Porsche 924

I figured what the hell… why not let you watch the ads and decide for yourselves if the Porsche 924 is a truly forgettable car.

Being a journalist occasionally has its perks, especially for members of the Southern Automotive Media Association (SAMA). Every year, on the Saturday following Thanksgiving, SAMA hosts an event at Miami Homestead Speedway for pediatric cancer patients, their families, and the doctors and nurses who treat them. Called “Rides ‘n Smiles”, the event puts kids into sports cars and race cars, and SAMA members get the opportunity to drive them around Homestead Speedway’s road course at safe but entertaining speeds. At the end of the day, the patients get a bag full of donated prizes, a certificate welcoming them into the “100 Mile Per Hour Club” and sore cheeks from laughing and smiling so much.

Me, looking like I'm having fun.

Founded by Bill Adam, an accomplished racer and member of the Canadian Motorsport Hall of Fame, the event has grown larger each year since its inception in 2008. This year’s event brought out some 100 families, which kept us busy driving from 9:00 until mid-afternoon. As luck would have it, I spent my driving duties behind the wheel of both a 2010 Dodge Viper Coupe and a 2011 Ford Shelby GT500 Mustang, and I tried not to look like I was enjoying it more than the kids were.

The ZR-1 Corvette really is stupid fast.

This was the loudest street legal car I've ever seen. The kids loved it.

The kids and their families were great, and I can’t imagine a better way to spend a Saturday. I made sure to tailor my speed and driving style to the requests of my passengers, although I never did manage to go fast enough for one little girl, whose vocabulary seemed to be limited to “faster!” She spent a lot of time giggling (as did her brother), so I’m guessing she enjoyed the ride anyway. Even her mom seemed to have fun, although she did look a little nervous in the first few corners. Another little boy asked me to go slow and admitted to being a little scared. I promised that I hadn’t wrecked a car since the day before and his eyes got really wide until I told him, “just kidding”. I had him laughing out loud by the end of the first lap, so I think I conquered his fear of speed.

Whose grin is bigger - mine or my back seat passenger's?

The SLS AMG was a huge hit.

Most of the cars were loaned by the automakers, but a few participants brought their own rides (a heavily modified Ford GT, a Porsche 356 vintage racer, a Corvette ZR-1, an Aston Martin DBS and a pair of Ferrari Californias) and generously donated their brakes and tires for the cause. A huge “thank you” goes out to Ford, Chevy, Dodge, Subaru, Porsche, Lexus, Mercedes-Benz, Nissan and Mazda, as well as to the staff of Miami Homestead Speedway who donated the use of the track for the day and made sure we had everything we could possibly need.

My personal favorite ride.

And a very close second.

Most of all, thanks go out to the kids and their families who turned up for the event. Here’s hoping you all make a speedy and full recovery, and that you enjoyed Rides ‘n Smiles as much as we did. I’m already signed up for next year, and I’m counting the days.

Cop shows… I love them. As a kid we’d sit in front of the television and watch every type of cop and P.I. show that we could affix our adolescent eyeballs on. Shows like Magnum P.I., Starsky and Hutch and Simon and Simon made us, as kids want to be private investigators. Not only did these shows fill our TV sets with action, but the late 1970s and 1980s were the heyday for the hero car on television. Hell, there’s even a show on this list that’s on TV right now. The Ferrari Testarossa from Miami Vice, the 1976 Ford Torino from Starsky and Hutch and the 1982 Trans Am from Knight Rider all helped set this guy on a lifelong path that would be filled with automobiles. Below is a list of 10 amazing TV shows whose main star was of the four wheeled kind. Obviously some of you out there may be a little young to remember these, but after reading this, do yourselves a favor and look them up. You’ll be glad you did!

• Starsky and Hutch: 1976 Ford Gran Torino

• Miami Vice: 1986 Ferrari Testarossa / 1972 Ferrari 365 Spyder

• Hunter: 1987 Dodge Daytona Shelby Z

• Knight Rider: 1982 Pontiac Trans Am

• Simon and Simon: 1979 Dodge Power Wagon / 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air convertible

• The Fall Guy: 1981 GMC Pick-up

• Magnum P.I.: 1981 Ferrari 308 GTS

• The Good Guys: 1980 Pontiac Trans Am

• The A-Team:

• Moonlighting: 1982 BMW 635CSi

With the current crop of cars on the market I’m beginning to wonder if the idea of building a custom car has lost some of its steam. Not too long ago in order to get a car with some real tire shredding performance and top notch handling you needed to build something yourself or spend big money to get something exotic. Nowadays though its seems that the tables have turned on customizers and builders the world over, as the manufacturers are really starting to turn out some amazing machines. Just stop and think for a moment about what type of performance $40,000 will buy you in today’s market.

A bone stock 2011 Ford Mustang GT for example will set you back a cool 30k. For that you get 412 hp, a 0-60 time of 4.3 seconds and 1/4-mile time of under 13 seconds. Folks, 10 years ago those were super car numbers. If you were going to try and build a car that would go, stop and handle like a modern day pony car in today’s market it would likely cost you almost twice that amount.

One thing that today’s cars, regardless of the make can’t do is provide their owners with the same amount of oohs and aahs that a custom build can, something that for most owners is a large part of the equation. In the back of my mind I’ve been thinking about designing another custom car, an idea that I’m running very hot and cold with. On the one hand we could create something that is a true “one of one” machine, but on the other, and from a pure performance point of view, I could go out and purchase something right off the dealer lot that will be leaps and bounds above anything we could put together. It’s a tough call… what would you do?

… that’s the age old question isn’t it? If you could have one car that fits all of your needs and wants, what exactly would it be. I go through this dilemma on a daily basis as I am always on the lookout for my next new ride. Americans as a whole live in their automobiles as we use them for everything from going to the store, to taking the kids to soccer practice, to hitting the race track on the weekend. Therefore when the subject of buying a car comes up, the process is nowhere near as easy as people think. You’ve got to consider price, usage, seating, storage space, MPG, performance and most of all, you’re lifestyle. Ask someone what they could buy if their funds were unlimited and odds are they’d choose some sort of exotic. Ask them again, but this time interject that it will be the only car that they can have, and all of a sudden their answer may change.

We are living in an automotive renaissance ladies and gentlemen and from an enthusiast standpoint, the automobiles that are being produced today are the best the world has ever seen. Safety features, performance and styling have reached peak levels and so far show no signs of slowing down. Now, while that’s all well and good, that doesn’t change the fact that regardless of what your purchasing, you will in some way have to compromise.

For example, my current car, a 2006 Dodge Magnum SRT8, is a wonderful machine on all levels, however it was a compromise. I needed something with 4-seats that could cart around some boxes and at the same time stand up to some light track duty. At the time, and for my price range the big Maggie was the only ride out there that fit the bill. Would I have liked to have gone out and purchased a used Z06 or 911… absolutely, but they simply did not fit the bill for me. With all of the above being said I’m curious to know how you guys came to driving the cars you drive today, and if they truly fit your lifestyle.

Yep, there are still those out there who have a few beans in the bank and it seems as though they’re spending them on Porsche’s. When Porsche announced recently that the new 2011 GT2 RS, their most powerful car ever, was only going to have a production run of 500 cars, people got excited. So much so that the German automaker has officially announced that they’ve all been sold. The GT2 RS cost a mere $250,000 and is an animal of an automobile making 620 hp and 457 lb-ft. torque from a twin-turbocharged flat-6. That translates to a top speed of 205 mph and a 0-60 time of 3.5 seconds.

For die-hard Porsche enthusiasts the GT2 RS is perhaps the ultimate Porsche. Its performance, race track and road manners are like aphrodisiacs to 911-o-philes. Aside from a large boost in power the GT2 RS also sports a carbon fiber hood and front fenders, a first for any 911. Make no mistake, this car is the pinnacle when it comes to Porsche road cars. Sure there is the V10 powered Carrera GT, a car that from a looks perspective will always trump the GT2 RS, but for sheer power, performance and that “OH MY GOD” feeling, the new 2011 GT2 RS will reign supreme.

Before you guys get all uppity and start ragging on all my selections I want you to go back and reread the title of this post. Keep in mind that it DOES NOT say, “Top 10 Cars That Will Get You Laid”, it says, “Top 10 Cars to Get Laid In” – there is a very big difference here. We all know that if you’re pimping in something super exotic at the club that your chances of getting a little action will go up. There are however some problems with this, for instance; have you ever tried to get laid in a Lamborghini, Ferrari or Corvette. There is no head room, no back seat and at the end of the night you’re going to be totally pissed if you get any bodily fluids on that fine leather. So, for that reason I’ve decided to give you a list of 10 pre-approved rides that are conducive for bangin’ boots.

Here’s some music to help set the mood…

1. Cadillac Eldorado: Early to Mid-1970′s

It was 19 feet long, had a 501 cu. inch engine, was front wheel drive and had a back seat that was as big as Texas. The Cadillac Eldorado’s from the 1970′s had enough space to shoot a full fledged porno in, and with that comfy back seat and convertible top you could play hide the pickle until the cows came home.

2. Rolls Royce Phantom: Current Generation

Sure it’s expensive, but it’s that way for a reason. I mean talk about the perfect sex machine, the Rolls Royce Phantom will not only get you noticed when you pull up, but with a massive rear cabin, built in bar and heated seats, this thing should keep you busy while at the same time keeping your legs cramp free.

3. Jeep Wrangler: Any Year.

The ultimate college hump mobile; drive down to the beach, pop the top, hit the back seat and give that off-road suspension a workout that would make Ron Jeremy proud.

4. GMC Denali XL or Chevrolet Suburban

They’re big, will haul anything and have enough room in both the front and rear seats to keep you and your partner happy all night long. Plus, with all the modern luxury amenities you could ask for as well as a massive back seat, there is no reason the GMC Denali XL or Chevrolet Suburban couldn’t be used as your full time rolling love shack.

5. Chrysler Town and County Mini-Van: Current Generation

It’s got “Stow and Go” seating ladies and gentlemen… nuff said.

6. American Muscle Car: 1965-1972

What more do you really need to know than almost every muscle car from 1965 to 1972 came stock with a massive bench seat up front. Start er’ up and hear the rumble, then take you’re babe for a front seat tumble!

7. Lincoln Town Car: Any Year

The Lincoln Town Car has always been a favorite amongst corporate executives and is used mostly as their private transport. They’re covered in leather, have loads of leg and head room, a massive back seat and for the most part, aren’t yours. What’s better than that?

8. Bentley Continental: Current Generation

The Bentley follows in the footsteps of the aforementioned Rolls Royce, but with a much sportier feel. Where Rolls will net you the “Super Cougar”, the Bentley will get you the “Gold Digger” and with a great interior and room to move, the Bentley will provide you with all night comfort.

9. Chevrolet C10 Pick-up

There is a bed in the back…. A BIG 5′x8′ BED. That’s all you need to know.

10. Maybach 62

You are now the ultimate pimp, in the ultimate pimp mobile, with the most comfortable rear porno seats in the industry. With integrated heat, ac, recline and massage features, the Maybach 62 is the ultimate comfort machine for high-class back-seat boot-knocking.

There are a number of Cars and Coffee-type meets that take place throughout the country (Kurt recently covered a Cars and Coffee meet in Jacksonville), and the DC-area one certainly does the concept justice.

One recent Saturday morning, I caravaned down with my buddy Paul (he was driving his monster Grand Cherokee SRT-8) and a pack of Vipers and Corvettes.  It was still dark when we left for the event, but by the time we arrived, the sun was gleaming like a halo on a heavenly field of precious metal.

There was a stunning array of Ferraris, Lambos (two Countachs and a Murcielago), Bimmers, Porsches, Corvettes, Alfas, Mercedes, Minis, Lotuses, Triumphs, Scouts, Maseratis, Jags, and even a Kaiser Darrin.  The cars also varied widely by model year.  Keep in mind that these are vehicles owned by the locals and driven there – these aren’t all investments that spend their days appreciating in a hermetically sealed garage.   Below are a few examples from that Saturday.

Dodge Vipers and Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT-8 from the morning’s caravan.

A rare gem – 1954 Kaiser Darrin (only 435 were built)

CLK63 AMG Black Series Mercedes

M&Ms – E24 M6 (!) and E30 M3

1965 or 1966 Shelby Mustang GT350

Mini Cooper and BMW 2002

Another uncommon sight – a BMW Z8, with Dodge Charger R/T in the background.

A gorgeous Jaguar E-type V12

Vettes – Stingray and Z51

I suggest that if you’re visiting to scope out the cars and you’re not driving anything that fits the bill, park around back and allow the eye candy to take the limited number of spots out front.  Then grab yourself a cup of hot coffee, take out your camera, and get to work salivating.  I can’t think of a better way to start the weekend.

Cars and Coffee is located at Katie’s Coffee House (760 Walker Road, Great Falls, VA, 22066) and takes place every Saturday from April through October between 7:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m.