If you haven’t had a chance to see the hundreds of youtube videos of bored Middle Eastern dudes with too much money to spend doing insane stunts on sandy roads, then perhaps this wild custom motorcycle commissioned by the Abu Dhabi Police Department and built by Paul Teutul Sr. of Orange County Choppers fame won’t make much sense. To be frank, even if you have, it might not. Car culture and conspicuous consumption have been exploding in the oil-rich Gulf nations, and the Abu Dhabi “Barbican Turbo” car show is a sign of the times.

The House has passed a bill, the Advanced Vehicle Technology Act of 2009, that might just lead to future new cars being made out of plastic. It still has to go through the Senate, but are we contemplating a future where we’re all driving polycarbonate cares with panel gaps larger than the federal deficit? Possibly … the bill calls for nearly $550 million per year in research into fuel-efficient cars and trucks that reduce dependence on petroleum. One of the funded projects is to have the Department of Energy demonstrate the production of “cost-effective lightweight materials such as advanced metal alloys, polymeric composites, and carbon fiber;” that is, plastics. Is the government going to require that your next Ford be an oversized Power Wheels car? More after the jump.

The U.S. Department of Transportation just doled out $100,000 to upstart company Solar Roadways to develop “Solar roads,” i.e. sturdy, 12×12 solar panels built specifically to be embedded into roads. The Department of Energy and, of course, Solar Roadways hopes that these solar roadways will push quite a bit of power into the energy grid. Each panel can develop around 7.6 kwh of power per day. The panels may also be include heating elements to keep the road from freezing over and glowing LED road markings to help people finally act out TRON based fantasies in the real world. For a mere $7k per panel!

The pantheon of faux inventions always has more than its fair share of perpetual motion machines, anti-gravity devices, and of course, water-powered internal combustion engines. Every so often, one of these water engine inventors manages to convince a local news station to air their tale of woe: oil companies, evil government agents, and the Stonecutters monkeys from the Simpsons are persecuting them for creating an invention to free us from the shackles of petroleum dependence! Today, we give you Paul Patone’s GEET (Global Environmental Energy Technology) System, a lawnmower engine that runs on a mixture of Mountain Dew, gasoline, and schizophrenia. Oh, don’t worry, there’s no explanation about why he choose Mountain Dew. Maybe a Pepsico rep came to him in a vision, bearing golden tablets written in Reformed Dew. Honestly, make up your own Scientology-sounding explanation – it will probably make more sense than the “truth” according to Patone.

Castrol has a special little helper to assist the performance tests of their oils in motorcycles. “Flossie,” a lovely–if headless–robo biker chick, allows testers to analyze engine performance over extremely long periods of time while riding on an extremely loud dynometer without incurring any worker’s comp. lawsuits or calls from the Geneva convention.

That’s because “Flossie” is the perfect woman: able to perform under adverse conditions without complaint. Her A.I. drive also allows her to learn the subtle nuance of clutch take-up and throttle control, meaning she can learn to ride any motorcycle or scooter. She’s also consistent, allowing her to duplicate precise inputs and enabling Castrol to repeat performance runs without variation.

To see a video of “Flossie” in action, follow the jump.

Friends, this is the Exxon-Mobil-Electrovaya Maya 300. My first thought at gazing upon this diminutive electric vehicle, which at least is made out of proper metal (unlike yesterday’s Wike Electric Sun), was that it looked like one of the following. Make a guess and see if you’re right after the jump!

a) a toad’s scrotum
b) a shrunken head covered in phlegm
c) an ill-conceived green transportation idea by a not-green company
d) Ann Coulter’s gallbladder

Where can I sign up?

Hot on the heels of all of the novel incentive programs instituted by major automakers (“We’ll buy back your car if you become unemployed or if your half-brother’s girlfriend doesn’t like the color!”), Valvoline announces their newest program: guaranteeing your engine for 300,000 miles if you use their oil. Make the jump to read all of the juicy details.

Ford hasn’t always been the bold leader of sound automotive judgement that it is today. Though in fairness, most of the god-awful Mustangs listed below were the result of fuel shortages and government regulations, and actually many were sales successes initially. Taking a more zen-like approach let’s remember that without evil or ugliness in the world, true beauty and goodness may not exist either. Nevertheless, to quote Sealab’s Dr. Quinn, “Mistakes were made.” Mistakes indeed. As promised, in Part 2 of a look back at some of the best and worst Mustangs, here are five versions of the ‘Stag that we wish never existed. And actually when WAS the last time you saw a Mustang II on the road?

E10, 10% ethanol, on sale in the US.

A group of ethanol industry representatives has requested that the EPA approve a gasoline blend that increases the ethanol content, up to a possible 15%. This new blend could be called E15, although a lower percentage could be approved. What does this mean for your warranty?

Natural Gas Fueled Honda Civic GX

The future of compressed natural gas (CNG) vehicles as envisioned by T. Boone Pickens has inched back from oblivion following an announcement that the only producer of CNG refueling technology in America will be acquired by Fuel Systems Solutions.  Though not finalized yet, Fuel Systems Solutions announced yesterday that it has agreed to acquire specific assets and technology for compressed natural gas (CNG) refueling products manufactured by FuelMaker Corporation, a company that Honda had recently forced into bankruptcy.  Honda’s decision was met with a lot of head scratching and conspiracy theories given that the Honda’s own Civic GX is the only vehicle in this country capable of running on CNG.