As a bittersweet farewell to one of the most tumultuous years in automotive history, RideLust presents to you a re-cap of all the biggest industry events in 2009…and a few that slipped in under editorial bias.

Rick Wagoner, Bob Nardelli, and Alan Mulally spent weeks feigning humility and destitution in three piece Brooks Brothers suits in an attempt to wrangle a billion-dollar loan from an apparently benevolent Uncle Sam. Eventually, the government acquiesced and agreed to bail out both General Motors and Chrysler so as not to interrupt their steady production of poorly built, aesthetically unappealing vehicles.

Stunt double Ben Collins outed himself as Top Gear’s infamous masked driver, The Stig, potentially blowing the sweetest gig on planet Earth. Rather than kill him off, Top Gear attempted to counter the rumors by fingering (::snicker::) legendary racer Michael Schumacher as The Stig. Gearheads in America with an Internet connection that’s too slow to cope with downloading the weekly BBC broadcast still don’t give a rat’s ass.

There was some sort of F1 scandal involving Renault intentionally throwing the Singapore Gran Prix, but we were too immersed in our rally obsession to care. Just Google it or something.

As per their plan to cut costs and pretend to pay back taxpayers, GM made the logical decision to axe one of the only remaining brands that consumers still cared about, Pontiac. Shortly after the announcement, rumors began to circulate that the late John DeLorean’s company was interested in purchasing the rights to produce the Pontiac Solstice. The idea, much like the DMC-12, was short lived.

Drawing heavily from the blatantly phallic styling of the Ambiguously Gay Duo’s car, Porsche released it’s first 4-door sedan, the Panamera.

After purportedly exhausting every possible alternative, or least deliberating long enough to appear as though they had, General Motors has opted to kill off their long-suffering Swedish subsidiary, Saab. Although many blogs/any amateur with access to Wordpress claim to feel sadness and shock, those industry professionals familiar with The General’s megalomaniac business principles are merely surprised it didn’t happen sooner. While hefty government funding may have made GM more attractive to investors, whatever strings are now attached to all of its transactions have proven toxic to literally every potential sale GM has had in que.

Of course, assuming responsibility for their mounting failures is at odds with their personal philosophy, which means the presser was brimming with ambiguous corporate buzzwords. “Despite the best efforts of all involved, it has become very clear that the due diligence required to complete this complex transaction could not be executed in a reasonable time. In order to maintain operations, Saab needed a quick resolution,” said GM Europe President Nick Reilly. “We regret that we were not able to complete this transaction with Spyker Cars. We will work closely with the Saab organization to wind down the business in an orderly and responsible manner. This is not a bankruptcy or forced liquidation process. Consequently, we expect Saab to satisfy debts including supplier payments, and to wind down production and the distribution channel in an orderly manner while looking after our customers.”

Just a few minutes ago General Motors released a statement confirming that Koenigsegg has suddenly reneged on their agreement to purchase Saab. Despite the fact that GM is no stranger to failed deals (for further reference, please contact your nearest disgruntled Saturn dealer), CEO Fritz Henderson expressed surprise and regret over the decision. “We’re obviously very disappointed with the decision to pull out of the Saab purchase,” said GM President and CEO, Fritz Henderson. “Many have worked tirelessly over the past several months to create a sustainable plan for the future of Saab by selling the brand and its manufacturing interests to Koenigsegg Group AB. Given the sudden change in direction, we will take the next several days to assess the situation and will advise on the next steps next week.”

While Henderson’s promise to weigh their options carefully seem promising, those who are familiar with GM’s proven track record for leeching what they can from a brand before tossing its lifeless carcass to the buzzards are not optimistic about Saab’s future.

In New York, an exotic car dealer took a customer’s 2008 Koenigsegg CCX for an ill-advised spin, resulting in the unfortunate crash pictured above. Only one of ten to ever touch down on U.S. soil, the total dollar loss on the damaged CCX was close to $1 million and doesn’t include the amount the dealer shelled out to placate the undoubtedly irate customer. What’s more, not only was the CCX the unfortunate victim of a joy ride gone awry, but a 2009 Porsche GT2 was also reportedly damaged in the accident.