Just like we told you on Tuesday, GM’s deal to sell Hummer to Sichuan Tengzhong is now deader than Generalissimo Francisco Franco. Before giving the ‘do not resuscitate’ order, GM admitted their disappointment with the deal’s collapse. Plans are to wind down the Hummer business and close the remaining dealerships in an orderly fashion; GM will continue to honor warranties on Hummer vehicles, presumably through GMC Truck dealerships.

Break out the lutefisk, the Spyker deal is done.

First, the good news: Saab is now officially owned by Spyker, so open up the aquavit and turn the freak knob up to 12, Saabophiles.

Art. The reaction to that one word can be polarizing in today’s society, depending upon your social status or political aspirations. People who attend art expositions find modernized conceptual art inspirational, meaningful, and a way for the artist to express his or her viewpoint. Other individuals revile in modern art, because they see it as a waste of time, resources, and most of all money. To those on that side of the spectrum, get ready to be reviled.

General Motors plans on stopping production of Hummer later this week until the sale proposed Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Co. is approved by the Chinese governement officials. President of GM’s China group has said that he is optimistic  but not certain that the deal will be approved. The reason for the delay is due to the fact that Sichuan Tengzhong is not a deep-rooted car manufacturer and the Chinese government has regulations against companies sporadically entering  an industry that can have economic effects. The deal has already been approved by the U.S. governemnt. It has been reported that the Hummer manufacturing plant in Shreveport, La., will halt production on all H3 models until completition of the deal. The H2 Hummer, which is manufactured in Mishawaka, In., ceased their production in late 2008, but under the deal with Sichuan Tengzhong, production of the H2 will also resume. Under the deals of the sale agreement, the Sherevoport GM plant will continue producing Hummer models for Sichuan Tengzhong all the way through 2011, with an option to extend the production through 2012.

For those of you elitists with things like a “steady job” and “benefits,” you probably received a hefty Christmas bonus with your paycheck last month. The wisest move would be to invest it, but ask yourself this: can a high-yield savings account scale a vertical wall? Of course not, which means your most logical course of action would be to scour eBay high and low for the most impractical (and possibly by that very quality, totally badass) purchase. Since it was an excruciatingly slow news day, I took the liberty of doing it for you.

In an uncharacteristic admission of weakness General Motors has announced that in light of the spectacular failure of the majority of its brands, it must now rely on the staying power of Chevrolet to carry it through its “reinvention.” Well, we’re paraphrasing.

What has actually been confirmed is that Chevy is GM’s undisputed top performer and with The General’s once formidable line-up now trimmed to just four key brands, it’s on Chevy to shoulder the brunt of the load. 70% of the load, to be exact, at least according to new Chevy VP Brent Dewar. In an address made on Friday, Dewar explained that currently Chevy products account for a little less than 60% of GM’s North American sales and a little over 50% of global sales. When Saturn, Pontiac, Saab, and Hummer are official wiped from GM’s slate, the marginal percentages they contributed to GM’s bottom line will be transferred to Chevy.

At one time the thought of GM auctioning off HUMMER for anything less than a billion would have been a mildly amusing joke, but circumstances have changed and The General is desperate. According to reports, the long negotiated sale of HUMMER to China’s Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Co. is expected to be finalized within the next 24 hours to the tune of a paltry $150 million. This is significantly less then the $500 million plus resale value GM CEO Fritz Hendersen conservatively estimated for HUMMER last year, but experts suspect that the recent Saturn/Penske failure may have GM anxious to wrap up the deal, even if it comes at a loss.

In a few short weeks, General Motors is expected to finalize the whoring out sale of HUMMER LLC to China-based Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Co. If the deal receives the required approval from the Chinese regulatory commission, Sichuan has earmarked $9.4 million to fund the construction of a new U.S. headquarters to be built in either Detroit or the Detroit suburb of Auburn Hills. When the final location is selected and the facility is opened for business, the Michigan Economic Growth Authority estimates it will create some 300 jobs for the community and in return for the anticipated economic stimulation, Michigan is preparing to greet Sichuan with the mother of all welcome wagons.

Opel Ampera

Unless you’ve been living in a cave on the Moon with your eyes shut and hands over your ears, you know that electric vehicles are the future. Not a week goes by where there isn’t some announcement about the car that will break the ties of petroleum oppression. For you, dear readers, I have assembled a list of some of the more notable entrants into the EV market with the pros and cons of each. From econoboxes to SUVs, grocery getters to exotics. Enjoy.

After exploratory talks to sell Hummer to a Chinese outfitter collapsed last August, the door to the Eastern buyers market was thought to be shut. Last month, however, small Chinese company Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Corporation placed an unexpected offer on the table to unload GM of its cumbersome gas-guzzling brand. Reluctant to mire themselves in the same problems currently burdening large vehicle sales in the U.S., China’s National Development and Reform Commission adamantly opposed the deal, hoping to stonewall any further discussion. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how informed you are of national politics and/or the Axis of Evil), China’s Ministry of Commerce sees the potential profit to be made from such a purchase and is lobbying in favor of Tengzhong’s bid, entrenching the Chinese government in a deadlock.