The most significant automotive news of this century seems to have slipped under the radar. A ratty, busted-to-hell Citroën completed the 24 Hours of LeMons this weekend. Complex hydraulic system and all. As the venerable Murilee Martin said, “It is impossible to overstate the magnitude of this achievement.”
Team Air Prance Schitroën essentially dug the ‘72 ID out of the trash. It had been sitting for 20 years and wasn’t running until the Friday before the race. They literally revived it hours before they hit the track. And it finished without exploding into a cloud of unobtainable French parts or spraying the track with Citroën hydraulic fluid. The feat is on par with firing up the Large Hadron Collider. Somebody should make this day a holiday.
Most manufacturers were too busy greenwashing their lineups this year to come up with something truly astonishing for Geneva. But the French, ah the French, remembered that car shows—and especially Geneva—are all about insanely gorgeous and futuristic concept cars. Gaze in wonder at the Citroën Survolt, the ultimate show car at Geneva 2010. What powers this magnificent creation? How fast is it? What’s its ‘ring time? Citroën scoffs at your petty questions! Ce n’est pas important! The Survolt is pure beauty and futurism. That is all.
If you live in America, that is. Dammit, why do the Euros get all the good toys? First the Ford Focus RS and now this?
If you’re on the fence about moving across the pond, here’s what you need to know. The Citroen DS3 Racing Special will be available in the second half of the year, it makes 200 horsepower from a 1.6 liter turbocharged four and they’re only making 1,000 of them. The suspension has beem widened by 30mm and lowered by 15mm, and stiffer springs have been added. Traction control can be disabled for track day hoonage, and four piton brakes make sure you can reign it in quickly.
The graphics package is a little much and I could do without all the fake carbon fiber, but I’d still love to flog the crap out of one.
The French have a healthy relationship with lust. To them, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s no repressed, punished, or controlled. It’s celebrated as the ultimate expression of unbridled passion. And it shows in their cars. Bare with me here. The Citroën DS is one of the sexiest cars ever made and since then, the French have periodically produced subtly sexy rides. The Citroën SM, the Renault Alpine A110, the Peugeot 205 GTI, the Renault Clio V6, and many more. They’re not drop-dead gorgeous like Italian supermodels, but they’re sexy in a girl-next-door-you’d-definitely-marry kind of way.
The DS3-R is the latest sexy ride to come out of Citroën. Rumor is it’ll come packed with a turbocharged 1.6-liter four good for more than 200 horsepower and will ride on rally-inspired suspension. A race version of the DS3-R will replace the current C4 rally car on courses in the near future. Chances of the DS3 or DS3-R being available for sale in the U.S. are close to zero, but we can dream.
It has ten wheels, four-wheel steering, two small-block Chevy V-8s, and a host of Citroën DS parts. It’s the PLR, a monstrous contraption created by Michelin in the ’70s to test truck tires. The thing weighs more than 10 metric tons and is capable of sustaining speeds of nearly 100 miles per hour. And it looks like the Yellow Submarine on wheels.
Now, before ya’ll get all twitchy on me because your favorite car commercial isn’t on this list, listen up! THIS ISN’T YOUR LIST – it’s my list. HOWEVER – if you know of some funny or awesome stuff out there then let us know and we’ll post it up. Hell, we can just make one big bulldog database of the best automotive commercials ever made… I’ll even put it together, just make sure you get me your recommendations.
Citroen C4 – TRANSFORM!!
Ok fine, it’s a bit hokey, but I grew up in the 1980’s and I dig these guys. Plus how often do you get to see a car really let loose and boogie down?
The Citroën SM was by no stretch of the imagination a rally car. It was heavy, luxurious, and big. It’s Maserati-derived V-6 only put out about 175 horsepower and its self-leveling hydro-pneumatic suspension and speed-sensitive power steering were complex and fragile. Still, that didn’t stop the mad Frenchmen at Citroën from fitting it with some Cibie lights and entering it in one of the most grueling rally races in history, the 1971 Rallye du Maroc in Africa. And despite its plush ride and complex engineering, it won.
What we have here is a later short-wheelbase rally racing SM. It’s a souped-up SM that’s been cut down to make it lighter and faster. It also has a wicked Kammback “breadvan” style rear end for improved aerodynamics. No breadvan SMs were ever sold to the public, but an industrious builder could replicate one with a Sawzall and some serious metalworking skills.
Checkout more pics of the SM breadvan at Serious Wheels.
Okay, so it appears to have been clapped out by the same ricer fanboys that meet at the strip mall behind your house every third Saturday, but it’s still not as bad as some of the other concepts we’ve seen. As a matter of fact, lose the Grimace theme and the Citroen REVOLTE Concept could have the potential to unseat the Scion tC as the most found vehicle in the community college parking lot.
For those of you with an affinity for older vehicles the REVOLTE may look vaguely familiar, and for good reason – the inspiration behind it was not The Fast and The Furious but rather the 2CV of legends told. The REVOLTE is intended to be a 21st century interpretation of the old classic (which we’re not completely sure we buy but we’re willing to play along with anyway) and as such it relies on the obligatory “alternative power source” – in this case electricity. The press release was surprisingly void of any raw sats on how the electric powertrain works, as matter of fact, absolutely no mention was made regarding the motor/battery at all. Apparently falsely believing the REVOLTE’s aesthetics are its biggest selling point, Citroen’s PR department devoted a wordy three paragraphs to extolling the REVOLTE’s forward thinking design principles. We managed to make it past “sophisticated materials” and “increasing urbanisation,” but we threw in the towel after we got to “superbly transgressive.” All you really need to know you can glean from the pictures.
Look, maybe “Revolte” means something different in French, like “graceful surrender” or “delicious snail.” However, in certain contexts we could understand it in English as “revolt,” meaning to rebel, which is surely what the more-Gallic-than-thou automaker is going for (although if they look to their own revolutionary past of unnecessary bloodletting, then possibly it’s a problematic association). But then there’s the other meaning of revolt, so eloquently captured in the internet phrase “I just threw up a bit in my mouth.” We’ll park the editorial content there and let our readers decide which meaning to assign this new Citroen concept, which folks are thinking will eventually revive the 2CV badge (but not this 2CV idea) as sort of a riff off of the successful Fiat reintroduction of the 500 moniker. Gallery after the jump.
Indeed, it’s time again for another spine-tingling, blood-curdling edition of DEATH WISH, the series where we explain our morbid fascination with improbably dangerous and fun looking vehicles of all shapes, colors, and creeds. Last week we looked at an intimidating amphibian, but this week the stakes just got a lot higher: today’s DEATH WISH contestant is French! And there’s no Maginot Line to protect you from its fury!
Today’s Implement of Destruction: the Lomax-Citroen 223
