Yugo Girl!

Today is Malcolm Bricklin’s 72^nd birthday, and to celebrate this jubilant occasion, I am presenting my review of a book written about perhaps the most reviled of his infamous business exploits: the Yugo.

I recently had the pleasure of reading Jason Vuic’s “The Yugo: The Rise and Fall of the Worst Car in History.” And just so you know, I thought it was a total hoot. It’s been ages since I last found myself transfixed by a book, owing in no small part to the clever prose of Mr. Vuic and his obvious enthusiasm for the Yugo and its hilarious cast of supporting characters

The tale is peppered with anecdotes that will make you cackle gleefully in public and get the side-eye from old ladies on the train. It will inspire you to torture your coworkers with a relentless barrage of Yugo jokes. Your resulting revelry in everything Yugo will have phones hanging up on you, doors closed in your face. But, oh yes, it’s worth it.

Vuic begins by telling a tale of the brave pioneers who first brought the Yugo state-side. The first person to show an interest was a Californian who had originally sold used Fiats in his home country of Czechoslovakia, where it was illegal to run a business selling used cars, and people could only privately sell their cars once their cars hit 5,000 kilometers. So he only bought and sold the same color and model Fiat so as not to arouse suspicions. He purchased the red Fiat 600s new, then drove around like mad, competing in road rallies in his efforts to reach the requisite distance – no small feat as the country only had 10,000 kilometers of paved roads. After he moved to California, he succeeded in importing the Yugo 45; then Malcolm Bricklin purchased from him the California distribution rights to the marque, acquired the rights for the other forty-nine states, and founded Yugo America.

Now, I knew of Bricklin before reading the book. I knew that he was the first person to import a Subaru to the United States, and in his varied career built a strange, gull-winged, fiberglass car called a Bricklin SV-1. And to my delight (and to yours, I guarantee it), the book goes into Bricklin’s entrepreneurial endeavors in great detail, which truly made for entertaining reading. It paints Bricklin as the quintessential dreamer – someone with wild business ideas a logical person would chortle at (for example, Vuic claims that the Bricklin SV-1 cost $50,000 to produce, but sold for $7,500 new). A man in whom reason was entirely absent. A man who was well acquainted with lawsuits and bankruptcy, but who also made millions and had (and perhaps still has) an extravagant and generous life. The book reserves several choice anecdotes for Bricklin and his love of excess. For instance, when he founded Subaru of America, the headquarters in New Jersey had a helipad (he loved helicopters), a collection of bonzai trees, a waterfall, and his desk was a James Bond-inspired contraption with monitors and secret cameras, while his second in command had a desk covered in fur.  Bricklin also was portrayed as having a fondness for cowboy boots and turquoise jewelry, which I find somewhat disturbing for a fellow Philadelphian.

Bricklin SV-1

Vuic also describes the bleak process of Yugoslavian car-buying in the 1960s.  A buyer could only choose one of two cars – the Fiat 1300/1500 or the Fiat 750.  Buyers had no ability to choose the car’s color or its features.  They had to purchase whatever was allotted to them several months after ordering.  Other stories involve the workers at the Zastava manufacturing plant in Yugoslavia (now Serbia) who tossed back sljivovica brandy (truly vicious stuff) at breakfast, lunch and during work, which probably explained why brand new Yugos came out of the factory with rust.

Indeed, the best tales are reserved for the car itself, but I don’t want to give too much away as the book offers a plethora of amusing, and consistently surprising, stories of its tortured existence. I grew up in the eighties and was just old enough then to remember the almost universal contempt for the car; however, I was too young to recall Vuic’s description of Yugo’s initial, seemingly unbelievable appeal when Yugo-mania seized the United States and lines actually formed at dealerships to purchase the car.  At one point, Chrysler even offered to buy the company.  The Yugo actually became the “fastest-selling first-year European import in US history.” Quite impressive for a car that was sold brand new in the US but was essentially a fifteen year old Fiat 127.

However, as expected, the book inevitably describes (in thorough detail) the precipitous decline in sales and eventual winding down of the company in the United States. An abysmal review in Consumer Reports triggered the downfall, and a fatality that occurred when a Yugo GV was blown off the Mackinac Bridge in Michigan destroyed what little reputation the company had remaining.  The breakup of Yugoslavia and the resulting dearth of Yugo parts drove the company further into disrepair.  The coup de grace was a NATO bomb that was dropped through the roof of the Zastava plant.

Although we all know what became of Yugo in the United States, I guarantee that you will find yourself quite surprised by the story behind the car and absolutely astounded that anyone with any sense would want to bring it here.   At the 50th time I told her a Yugo joke, one of my friends whined, “Why write a book about the Yugo?”  Well, to be honest, I don’t think many of us know much about the car -  I personally don’t know anyone with a Yugo or anyone who has ever admitted to owning one (any former Yugo owners among you?) – but there’s a hilarious, absolutely bonkers story behind its arrival in the states that deserves to be heard.  Vuic is an effective, skillful writer who does a terrific job conveying the Yugo’s story in a way both car enthusiasts and history buffs will enjoy.   If you’re looking for a page-turner, pick this one up and laugh loudly – you won’t be disappointed.  At the very least, this book will inspire in you a new found appreciation for any car you drive.

What do you call a Yugo with brakes?  Customized.

Got any good Yugo jokes?  Post ‘em here!

It was the low price that really sold Chet, but the state-of-the-art pop-up living area and authentically-distressed finish were nearly as impressive.

Source: That Will Buff Out

2010 was a good year. The venerable Lancia Stratos came back from the grave. Jaguar built a car with two jet engines in it. The Mustang shaved its mullet and proved itself as a more-than-capable sports tourer. Chevy’s long-awaited Volt turned out to be pretty good. And Cadillac made the most bitchin’ station wagon ever. But my favorite cars this year didn’t make the glossy magazines. They won’t end up in posters plastered to 15-year-olds’ walls. They won’t be featured in Forza or GT5. They are, however, spectacular in every way imaginable. Here they are, in no particular order.

The GLCOAT (Greatest LeMons Car of All Time)

The man who built this eight-wheeled monster never finished and sadly didn’t live to see it achieve Internet fame. It’s the GLCOAT, or Greatest LeMons Car of All Time. I like to call it the Octo-Rod, but that’s just me. It was discovered on eBay by curious car buffs, for sale as part of the builder’s estate. It has eight wheels, two Mazda rotaries, and more gumption than Calamity Jane. It was purchased by 24 Hours of LeMons veteran Speedycop, who plans to race it. How could it not be on my list?

Octo-Rod

University of British Columbia eBeetle

Student engineers from UBC built this electric beetle and drove it clear across Canada. It’s powered by an A/C motor and a lithium-ion-phosphate battery. It’s range is more than 200 miles at 42 miles per hour. It can hit 85, which is batty in a VW Beetle. I love the ingenuity of this thing, the sheer tenacity of the engineering team. And it’s a Beetle, which just makes makes me smile.

UCB eBeetle

Miura Replica

That is a Fiero. It’s a painstaking replicar built to exacting specifications. It rocks a Corvette V8, custom-fabricated interior, and a fiberglass body. And you’d be hard pressed to identify its domestic underpinnings. It’s a work of art, every builder’s dream. It was first featured on Buildthreads.com and is now a legend.

Miura Replica

Air Prance Citroën DS

In my mind, this car represents the greatest achievement of the 21st century. It’s a 1971 (or ’72?) Citroën DS and it ran, successfully, in several 24 Hours of LeMons races. With its hydraulic suspension system intact. It was ran by Team Prance and it’s still running. In fact, it recently made a trip across the country to run in another race. Brilliant.

Air Prance Citroën

Rx-2

Bob Maywell built this 1970-ish Mazda RX-2 for racing. It’s a good thing, too, because he works at Thunderhill Speedway in California. It’s powered by a turbocharged 12A rotary and has a full race cage. The RX-2 is a rare bird in the states, but it’s one sexy little coupe. It’s on my short list of dream cars.

Mazda RX-2

Honda N360 Electric

The guys at Hector’s Chop Shop in Santa Rosa, Ca., are building an electric, rear-drive ’69 Honda N360. The N360 was a Lilliputian Kei car, a 1,100-pound front-wheel-drive hatch with a 30-hoursepower 600cc twin. The thing was barely 10 feet from nose to hatch and only four feet wide. Forrest Koogle  and the crew at Hector’s scored a pair of the tiny cars, sold one, and decided to convert the other to an all-electric driver/racer. They picked up a massive 60-horsepower D/C motor with ungodly amounts of torque and, well, things got crazy from there. The build is still not finished, but it’s one of my all-time favorites.

Electric N360

Smyth G3F

Go green, go fast. It’s Smyth Performance founder Mark Smith’s motto and it means you can have a hyper-efficient car that won’t lull you into a state of suspended animation—and you can build it yourself. Smith is developing a fuel-efficient diesel kit car called the G3F, a true hoon’s alternative to the legions of vapid big-name hybrids. The first prototype is nearly finished now and Smyth is ready to deliver a few kits to brave beta testers early next year. I love the idea behind this car and it looks great, too. If I were to ever build a kit, it would be a G3F.

Mark Smith’s G3F

Slammed Previa

I used to make fun of the egg-shaped Previa. Now I dream of owning a Previa All-Trac with a modified supercharger and a swapped-in manual transmission. A Stanceworks.com forum member who goes by the handle “shawnthemonster” pimped out his Previa. He slammed the thing within an inch of its life, gave it independent rear suspension to get adjustable camber in the rear, and slathered the whole thing in red and black paint. I love it. It’s the perfect family van and damn sexy.

Slammed Previa

Manstretta MXT

The Mastretta MXT is a 1,980-pound powerhouse, a mid-engine coupe with a 240-horsepower turbocharged 2.0 liter inline four. The lightweight sports car will be the first car designed, engineered, and manufactured in Mexico. According to Mastretta, the first production units should roll off the assembly line in 2011. It’s one hot little number. And it helps that my favorite color is orange. Hopefully they’ll import the cuddly little thing to the US so I’ll have a chance to drive it.

Manstretta MXT

Dymaxion Recreation

Buckminster Fuller built the Dymaxion Car way back in the ’30s. It was extremely ahead of its time, a aerodynamically slippery minivan with supreme maneuverability and excellent fuel efficiency. But it was horribly unstable due to it’s single rear-wheel-steering setup. Still, its quite possibly the most spectacular car ever built. British architect Norman Foster had a Dymaxion built from scratch. Dymaxion #4 was built based on analysis of the only remaining Dymaxion Car and Fuller’s drawings. Race car restorers Crosthwaite & Gardiner put it together using Fuller’s original specs: Rear-mounted Ford flathead V-8 driving the front wheels, single rear-wheel steering.

Dymaxion Recreation

Mazda 5

I only wrote one car review last year, and it was of a rented Mazda5. I loved it. The sporty little five-passenger vehicle (okay, minivan) won my heart. So much so, in fact, that I bought a 2011 model with a five-speed manual transmission. It’s a great family hauler and road trip car and, to be honest, the nicest car I’ve ever owned.

Mazda5

I was heading into the grocery store the other night when I saw something that made my jaw drop. A lady, apparently deciding that the cart-return was too far away, decided to give her shopping cart a solid heave… right through the sporadically parked cars in the back half of the lot.

The cart, as Wally-World carts often do, immediately hooked a left into oncoming traffic, causing a guy to slam on his brakes to avoid a collision. The lady, either too callous or too oblivious, pulled away with nary a glance at the narrowly avoided impact.

Now, granted, I was at Wal-Mart; I don’t have high expectations for the patrons. In fact, I saw not one, but two ladies wearing Snuggies as I perused the aisles.

But it certainly got me thinking. Parking lot courtesy (and safety) is sorely lacking. Few other places combine the confusion, frustration and crowds of both pedestrians and vehicles in motion like a modern superstore parking lot.

So as a public-service announcement, I present to you some insights into parking lot manners. These are insights gleaned from years of walking through the loosely-organized chaos that is a Midwest Wal-Mart blacktop – so trust me, I’m an expert.

Those Arrows and Lines Mean Something

Those arrows at lane entrances in parking lots? They mean something. All too often I have to stop to let some clueless driver who is going against traffic by because they don’t realize that the arrows, and the angles of the parking spaces themselves, are setup to guide traffic and keep it flowing.

Even worse are the people who cut across rows of spaces. A slow cautious turn is fine, but these slowpokes are usually driving 55 mph as they blaze a new trail through the white lines.

I Took The Crosswalk Because I Didn’t Want You To Hit Me

Or alternately titled “Slow the F down!” Crossing the gauntlet between a parking lot and the store entrance has become a deadly gamble. Just when you think the coast is clear, a 16-year-old in their parents Suburban comes roaring past the crosswalk, walkers-be-damned.

Parking lots have people walking through them – people who would not like to die before they’re able to complete their purchase.

Return Your Cart, A$$hole

Parking lots have little cart-corrals spread throughout, providing convenient spots to park your cart after you’re finished. So why do they end up randomly strewn about?

I park in the back of the lot on purpose – in a likely misguided attempt at protecting my car from careless door dings. An unfortunate side effect of being alone in the back of the lot is that my car is usually surrounded by abandoned carts by the time I return, which I have to carefully maneuver around as I leave.

It Isn’t A Better Spot if it Takes 30 Minutes to Park

Whats with the obsession over front-row parking spaces? You’re not saving any time if you have to sit for 10 minutes while you wait for someone to unload their packages and back out – and in the meantime, the seven cars behind you are steaming with unspeakable rage because you’re the guy who’s been driving through the lot like a vulture waiting for a prime space to open up. Never mind the fact that you’ve driven past a dozen open spaces. Never mind that I’ve parked, walked through the lot into the store, found my items, completed my purchase and am now walking back out in the time it took you to park. You got that front-row space; you win, buddy.

So there you have it; four common-sense observations on the degradation of our parking lot courtesy. Take heed and learn from the misdeeds of those around you. And if you’re the cause of these fist-clenching acts of obliviousness, may the unsightliness of a thousand door-dings rain down upon your car as it sits in the front-row space you spent 30 minutes searching for.

A team of students from the University of British Columbia (UBC) in Canada have crossed the Great North in an electric ’71 VW Beetle. The Beetle was converted to electric by UBC Electric car club. It’s powered by a lithium-ion battery pack and driven by a three-phase A/C motor. The setup is good for a range of 185 miles at 60 miles per hour or 340 miles at 30 mph. It recharges in four hours. Not bad. Not bad at all. The team had a few snags, including a broken half shaft and a busted charger, but they crossed Canada in 14 days. I wonder if they’re selling the Bug. I totally dig it.

Source: Wired Autopia

Chet couldn’t understand why his stucco car siding business never took off.

Source: That Will Buff Out

Why spend hours tearing down interior walls with a ripping bar and a sledgehammer, when you can accomplish the same thing in minutes with an old Toyota 4wd pickup? It’s a whole lot more fun, and you aren’t likely to work up a sweat behind the wheel. If you have a snowplow for the truck, you can even handle the cleanup without any back-breaking labor.

In fact, I see a business opportunity here. I’d pay money to push down walls with a beater truck, wouldn’t you? Hell, I could spend days doing this; all I need to do is hook up with a commercial realtor and a general contractor, then start combing Craigslist for beater 4wd pickups. Genius, sheer genius, but NSFW for language.

Jimbo was sure his self-taught bodywork skills would earn him fame and fortune someday.

Source: You Drive What?

Times are tough, and it doesn’t look like there’s going to be any major economic recovery in the near future. A lot of people, myself included, have cut way back on spending just to make ends meet. Still, you can only cut back so far: ours is a culture based around the automobile, and you need a reliable set of wheels to get to and from work, the grocery store, your therapist, etc.

I paid $700 for my first car, but that was over 25 years ago. Is it still possible, I wondered, to score a car for under $1,000 if you shopped carefully on Craigslist? Searching the listings for Jacksonville, FL, I can safely say the answer is yes, as long as you’re not particularly concerned with what you’ll be driving. If you want to get from point A to point B for under $1,000, here are a few tips to keep in mind:

• Look at private party sales only, and avoid dealers. Car dealers can’t make profit on cars that sell for less than $1,000, and anything you see advertised at a dealership is likely to be “money down”, not the purchase price of the vehicle. For example, a local dealer has a 1999 Chevy Tahoe listed for $1,000; sure, it’s got over 217,000 miles on the clock, but that still sounds like a good deal. Click on the listing, and you realize that they want $1,000 down on the purchase price of $4,295. Good luck with that.

'Trust me, I'm in sales.' Not.

• Avoid anything with a story. If the car “ran great when parked”, chances are it doesn’t run at all now. If it “needs a little work”, expect it to need a lot of work. If the owner specifies “needs $2,500 worth of work”, expect it to need double that. At this price point, you’re buying temporary transportation only. If it doesn’t run today, chances are it won’t be a cheap or easy fix. If it was, the current owner would have fixed it himself.

'Needs some work, but ran great when parked'

• Don’t worry about appearance. In this price range, all you care about is “does it run”, “does it have brakes” and “does the owner have a title”. Expect any $1,000 car to have rust, Bondo, body damage, a shredded interior, mismatched body panels, a rattle-can paint job or all of the above. In fact, you should embrace this; consider dents and scratches as battle scars, and sleep well knowing your car isn’t likely to get broken into or stolen.

'Custom, two toned paint scheme'

• Look for cars that have license plates in pictures. No plates tell me the car isn’t currently driven, and you have no way of knowing how long the car has been parked. You could take the word of the seller, but chances are he’ll be less than entirely truthful. He’s trying to get this heap out of his front yard, and his choices are pay to have it towed away or sell it to some other victim for as much money as possible. Which would you choose?

A license plate is a good sign; a current plate is even better.

• Expect the car to need some work. At this price point, you will be buying a car that’s been neglected, probably for years. The oil may look like axle grease, the tires will probably be bald and the brakes are likely to be shot. Be realistic about your own mechanical skills, and don’t buy a project that’s over your head. If you’ve never rebuilt a motor before, learning on a Saab 900 Turbo that you snapped up for $800 will only lead to heartbreak. On the other hand, if that $700 Dodge Caravan only needs brakes and tires, you’ll probably be home free for under $1,000 if you can turn a wrench.

Needs a little too much work...

• If you don’t know cars, bring along someone who does. If you don’t know what ‘rod knock’ is, you need to bring a friend who does. Likewise, it’s helpful to know if that valve tap is simply a hydraulic lifter that’s clogged or the sign of something far more insidious. You’re not going for perfect here, you’re going for serviceable, and you want the car to last you long enough to get back on your feet. If it dies on your drive home, it’s not like you have a warranty to fall back on.

Also needs too much work...

• Don’t worry about the interior. At less than $1,000, it’s likely to be hideous and will probably smell worse than the inside of a five-year-old-sneaker. If the driver’s seat has collapsed or if the carpet has mushrooms growing on it, you can always find replacements at a wrecking yard. Otherwise, cheap seat covers, a thorough cleaning and an air freshener should be good enough to make the interior bearable.

New floor mats, seat covers and an air freshener and you're good to go.

• Learn to compromise. Sure, A/C is nice (especially in FL), but don’t expect a $1,000 car to have working A/C. More important are working lights and working wipers, since a car you can’t drive in the rain doesn’t make a lot of sense. Likewise, don’t worry if the radio doesn’t work – you can always buy a cheap car stereo at a pawn shop if you can’t live without tunes.

You can always add A/C later.

• Avoid the exotic. Sure, a Mercedes Benz 300 diesel can be made to run nearly forever, but when something does break you probably won’t have the money to fix it. As cool as driving an old Mercedes diesel would be, you’re better off sticking to something from the U.S. big three, preferably something heavy duty with a long production cycle. The RWD Chevy Impalas or Ford Crown Victorias are great examples, and you can generally find older Chevy Blazers, Ford Broncos or Jeep Cherokees in this price range if you look hard enough.

Here's what a $1,000 Dodge Viper looks like.

• No picture = no call. Sure, it could be that the seller doesn’t have a digital camera, but damn near everyone has a camera phone these days. If there isn’t a picture with the ad, be suspicious and move on to the next ad.

• If it sounds too good to be true, it is. Craigslist is filled with scam artists who make a living separating trusting shoppers (or sellers) from their money as quickly and efficiently as possible. No one is going to sell a car below value unless it’s to a family member or close friend. If you find a pristine Porsche 944 on Craigslist for $800, be afraid; like honest politicians, deals like that don’t exist in real life.

'Ford GT for sale, $1,000. Need money for college tuition'.

I was able to find about five or six cars I’d call on if I were in the market for a beater car. I’m not right now, and I hope that I won’t be any time in the near future. If you are, good luck with your search and feel free to hit me up if you need any specific advice.

Ya’ know what… this actually looks ok. When I first heard about Top Gear being done for the U.S. market I was somewhat concerned because I didn’t know how it would translate from the UK to the U.S., but now, after seeing this trailer, I’m feeling pretty good. Hosts Adam Ferrera, Rutledge Wood and uber drifter Tanner Foust look to be taking the U.S. version of Top Gear in a decidedly U.S. direction. By utilizing some tricks out of the old redneck play book, the boys have decided to go and play “moonshine” by racing some clunkers in a series of fun-filled events. Hell, in episode one they actually launch an old Cadillac Fleetwood skyward! I’ll tell you straight out that if this is what I’ll be seeing every week then I’m all for it. Good luck guys… now go do your U.S. viewers proud by giving us what we all want to see.