The Geico gecko, so cute you could step on him

There are a lot of good things about living in the USA, like driving on the correct side of the road or being able to own guns. On the other hand, living in the UK has its own unique advantages, besides being able to buy a Ford Focus RS.

Take, for example, the spokesmodels used to sell us insurance in the US. We have the Geico gecko (pictured above), Flo the uber annoying Progressive pitch woman and Erin, the disturbingly hot Esurance cartoon character.

Flo, the Progressive girl. As enjoyable as nails on a chalkboard.

Erin, from Esurance. DO NOT image search Erin+Caveman. Just don't.

Britain, on the other hand, has Bennets babes. Their job, it appears, is to convince you to purchase motorcycle insurance through Bennets. I can’t even buy their insurance, yet I’m strangely convinced it’s the correct coverage for my needs.

Always stretch your tripceps before a ride, as this Bennetts girl shows

Keep your elbows slightly bent, as this helpful Bennetts girl demonstrates.

Always wait until after the ride to use your cell phone.

It's good to stretch your abs before a ride, too.

This Bennetts girl shows proper tire changing dress.

Sorry, Ms. Bennetts, I don't think those Kevlar strips will help in a crash.

Always wear protective gear.

If we agree to drink tea, watch cricket, call a trunk a ‘boot’, use lorries instead of taxis and call our friends ‘mates’, will you send us a few proper insurance spokesmodels?

Source: TwoWheels Blog

We here at RideLust get a lot of questions from readers. Most ask how they can have a fabulous career as a jet-setting automotive writer, in which case we tell them that blackmail pics of industry execs having sex with farm animals is a really good way to start. Or to get really, really good with Photoshop so you can create blackmail pics. Sometimes people ask us what it’s like to drive the Bugatti Veyron, and all of us on staff can answer with authority, because we’ve flogged the snot out of one in Need For Speed: Shift. Not to brag, but we’re all pretty good behind the wheel of a Ford GT, Lamborghini Murcielago or McLaren F1, too.

One question that keeps coming across our desks is, “How can I become a car show girl?” The truth is that there’s no easy answer to that question. For starters, first we’d need to see you in bikini or underwear pics. Next we need to see you nude, and then, if you’re suitable material, we’ll call you in for a “clothing optional” interview.

Not everyone has what it takes to be a car show girl, even at the amateur level. For example, we’ve rejected the following candidates and with enough therapy, may eventually be able to get their pictures out of our heads:

Requirement 1: no Y chromosome. Fail.

Requirement 2: no Y chromosome and some level of attractiveness. Double fail.

Just because you're WILLING to wear a bikini doesn't mean you SHOULD

Please don't take off your clothes. Please.

Despite our advice to seek an alternate career, Olga and her sisters found work in Russia

Yes they do. Trust me on this.

Next, I guess we’d need to define what a car show girl is. At the bottom rung of the ladder are the tuner car or local car club show girls, whose primary job is to look hot and show skin. You’re there to distract from a car’s flaws, because who’s going to notice a Krylon paint job on a $10 body kit when there’s a stripper pole and two models playing tonsil hockey next to it?

To qualify for this role, you need to look smokin’ in a bikini, not be averse to showing skin and possessed of loose morals. As with being a stripper, the ability to suck a golf ball through fifty feet of garden hose is an optional, but desired, talent. There are no intelligence requirements to compete at this level, and in fact it’s better if you’re not quite as smart as a file cabinet. Don’t speak English? No problem; in fact, you get bonus points for that. Here are some examples:

Wax on, wax off

Spike heels help to hide the SUV ride height of this ‘Stang

See? Enough hotness can even disguise a really bad body kit.

Baby got back. Can you spot the Lamborghini in this picture?

We don’t discriminate: B cups are cool, too.

Fact: girls playing grabass with each other always adds 10hp to a car.

See? A little lipstick lesbian action can make a photo shoot in an Ikea parking lot look good.

So what’s in it for the models at this stage of the game? The pay, if you actually get paid, will be small. You’ll get to meet a lot of guys with mulletts and bad tattoos and you’ll get offered a lot of rides in Mustangs, Camaros, Evos or nitrous plumbed Civics. Chances are good you’ll never meet anyone famous, or get to the next car show girl level, but you will get the satisfaction of knowing that you’re helping hundreds of adolescent males get through puberty. If you’re lucky, they won’t send you the pics.

Next time: moving on up, or how to be an umbrella girl.

Author’s note: So You Want To Be A Car Show Girl will be a semi-reoccurring piece on RIdeLust. It’s written tongue-in-cheek and should in no way be taken seriously. Except the part about sending us bikini or underwear pics if you’re over 18. We meant that.

There are going to be a proverbial ton of custom Camaros at this year’s SEMA 2009 convention. Everyone’s been almost constipated in anticipation of Chevy’s pony car returning to the streets, and now we can begin the regularity accordable any popular American muscle car–which means almost daily receiving news of some special custom and tuner model from every little father-and-son garage with a dream.

Let’s begin with the Defender Worx Camaros here. They have been working on their display models for sometime, and have just completed a professional photoshoot and posted those photos for all the fanboys at Camaro5.

So what do you guys think? Yeah, me too. The grille is a bit strange. But the wheels are cool. Yeah, the mirrors are neat, too.

Wait? You can’t see the car in that photo can you? Clumsy me. But the fact is, the hottest blond in these photo shoots is the one with the built-in dual air bags you see above you, and since Defender Worx was so kind to include clips of the dame slowly stripping down in front of the Camaro, we doubt very seriously you’ll care much about another wheel and fender job. And yes, I’m talking about the car. It seems that even they are aware that their cars are a bit boring and need ornate hood ornaments to make us look.

For more semi pornographic photos information and and a full gallery of Defender Worx’s two Camaros, click the jump.

Here are the videos, if you’re interested:

On the forums at Camaro5, this is the order in which the gallery is arranged–with the girl first, the cars second. We can’t argue with their taste, but it’s not very encouraging (since she isn’t listed under the ‘feature’ list).

Now, for the cars.

Of the two, the yellow is certainly the most cohesive one. The blacked out grille matches the rims of the wheels. Otherwise, there’s nothing too complicated here.

The rally yellow Camaro features:

Black Side Vent Inserts (Gills)
Black Replacement Bowties
Black Locking Fuel Door
Black SS Side Badges
Black RS Side Badges
Black Side Window Louver
Black Reverse Light Bezels
Black Full Length Phantom Grill
Gianelle Santorini Wheels

The black car has a nice looking “grille”–smiling like some gansta rapper. Defender Worx assured us that those wheels are NOT the ones that will be on the booth model. So don’t get all upset. Really. Don’t.

The black Camaro features:

Chrome Side Vent Inserts
Chrome Replacement Bowties
Chrome Locking Fuel Door
Chrome SS Side Badges
Chrome RS Side Badges
Chrome Reverse Light Bezels
Chrome Half Length Phantom Grill
Gianelle Venezia Wheels

SOURCE: Camaro5

Squatting: The Best Way To Appreciate Good Tires

The rather uncomfortable staging of this poor girl by the wheel well of a Mustang is a startling reminder of one of the most important and often overlooked aspects of car ownership. No, not the harmful effects of self-tanners on paint or the misuse of scissor doors on a Ford, but proper tire selection. Surely our Ridelust readership does not need to be reminded that a quality set of rubber is easily the most cost-effective way to add performance to your car. But as young Misty here can no doubt confirm by her vantage point, tire manufacturer Vredestein provides one of the more striking examples with their Ultrac Sessanta summer tire .

Vredestein Ultrac Sessanta Tires

In collaboration with Giugiaro Design, Vredestein’s newest ultra-high performance tires were developed with modern sports cars firmly in mind. Though what they have produced is visually appealing tire, (if you are the sort of person who can appreciate a lovely tire tread), performance is really the goal here. Reviewers are happy to report that the Ultrac Sessant lives up to Vredestein’s reputation based for quality and one of the lowest of rates of manufactured defects in their tires.

Audi Looking Menacing With Vredestein Tires

A key feature of the Ultrac Sessant is it’s Longitudinal Design which uses a wide circumferential groove placed asymmetrically on the inside of the tread. Alongside this groove are curved grooves that gradually bend away towards the outer edge of the tread. The sloping circumferential grooves are never completely in the contact area. The footprint therefore actually has four circumferential grooves, three of which are at a small angle. A second feature is its Handling Tuned Tread Compound formula of silica, various types of active carbon, and a temperature-sensitive resin. All of which ensures outstanding handling on both dry and wet surfaces.

As Displayed Shown On A Chrysler 300C.

The tire also uses a Parametrical 3D Design, that guarantees each specific tire size has been precisely calculated to optimize the tire contact patch. Finally, Vredestein has ensured minimal deformation to the sidewall occurs by using two rayon layers in the tire carcass.

Proper Inflation Is A Must. Right Misty? Oh I'm Sorry, Mysty.

Vredestein’s Ultrac Sessanta is available in sizes 17, 18, 19, and 20 and has been assigned a speed rating of Y for speeds up to 186 mph. You can stand up now Mistie.

Which one would you rather see with a Turbo-Diesel powerplant?

am-biv-a-lence
-noun
1. Psychology. the coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings toward the same person, object, or action, simultaneously drawing him or her in opposite directions.

Lamborghini is taking its own steps to save the environment through the kissing of environmentalist-ass!

Like most companies, the Italian manufacturer finds itself under pressure to make-nice and reduce C02 emissions and increase the fuel-efficiency of their cars. Though Lamborghini is technically exempt from the harshest wave of Emission Laws in the European Union per a clause pertaining to “manufacturers of ’specialty’ vehicles (with fewer than 10,000 new cars made per year) who run their own production facilities and design centres, even though they are part of a group of associated producers,” Lamborghini nonetheless is doing their part to at least look like they care.

In a new press release, Lamborghini details their plans to clean-up their factories by attaching solar panels to the roofs of their plants, really a smart move considering factories make up the portly midsection of those Pollution Pie Charts.

But their plans involve the possibility of Lamborghini Hybrids as well.

In the mass of technicalities, there is one bit in that press release below we can really care about:

At this point, Research & Development activities will continue in the following directions:

– decreasing vehicle mass
– improving combustion
– reducing friction
– Start-and-Stop systems
– hybrid drive train solutions
– biofuels

Now, this is not a new concept. The ill-fated, and ill-received Estoque concept was rumored to make use of a diesel-powered V8 with high-performance TDI, and considering Lamborghini is owned by Audi, we could no doubt expect some technological “crossover” action from the Audi A1 Concept and the Audi Q7 V12 TDI respectively.

But the question remains as to how the market would respond to a hybrid Italian exotic.

We really really hate anything that reduces the giggle-inducing factor of a car, whether it be in the drivetrain or purely cosmetic. So we entertain the idea of a flex-fueled raging bull with anxiety, but hope that maybe Lamborghini will be the one to really do it, the car company that shows us how to be efficient without sacrificing the passion for driving with reckless abandon. Perhaps Lamborghini will give us the first truly lustworthy hybrid supercar.

But for now, we can only hope.

For those curious, concerned, or need to work on their English, here’s the official press release:

LAMBORGHINI ANNOUNCES NEW, AMBITIOUS PROGRAMS FOR REDUCING CO2

European Parliamentarian Guido Sacconi, President of the European Commission on Climate Change, recently paid a visit to Lamborghini headquarters in Sant’Agata. At that time, he said that, “The commitment shown by Lamborghini with its efforts to reduce environmental impact and develop vehicles with less polluting technologies confirm the company’s goal of following the right path toward complying with the directives of the European Union. To safeguard the DNA, history and technology of niche car manufacturers on a European level, a series of exceptions have been passed for manufactures of ’specialty’ vehicles (with fewer than 10,000 new cars made per year) who run their own production facilities and design centres, even though they are part of a group of associated producers. This is the exact situation in which Lamborghini finds itself. We have been particularly satisfied with the actions it has taken thus far, because they illustrate this company’s desire to embrace a new industrial vision which combines competitiveness and performance with social responsibility.”

Source: Lamborghini via Jalopnik

I love auto show girls. Actually, I love all girls, but still… there is something especially appealing about the auto show girl. Maybe it’s because we see them next to a car and automatically assume they have some automotive knowledge? Or that they’re at least interested in the cars? We love girls who love things we love. Which is also why we love lesbians. It’s a complicated and bizarre thought process going on inside the male brain. Actually, I take that back, it’s not complicated at all.

Either way, the fact remains that men love auto show girls, and last month, the 13th biennial (it’s a word, look it up, it means “every two years”) Auto Shanghai was held at the Shanghai New International Expo Center. Classy digs, apparently, and the girls were equally classy. Those Chinamen really know how to throw a party. So we snagged a few pictures of the scenery for you, loyal Ridelusters. Enjoy!

most pictures via auto.qq

I’m not one to make fun. Deep down inside, I always felt bad for laughing at the Star Wars Kids and the Dog Poop Girl, but still, I laughed. I laughed at the recent caption contest girl too. All’s fair in love and the internet.

The interwebz brings us all together, gives us all access to the mass of information out there, allows for easy micro-lending and swarm computing… but it also has an infinite memory and the ability to spread our private moments around to the world, to become memes and little forwarded emails of embarrassing hilarity for the masses.

This unfortunate girl has joined the annals of internet meme-dom. Thank you Caption Contest Girl, you’ve brightened our lives and given us laughter. To you…

Enjoy the whole series:

PS- Is it me, or does she look like Brian Peppers?
PSS- It is a fairly nice Integra though.

Oh my… I don’t really know what to say about this one folks. It’s up to you, the collective hive mind of Ridelust readers, to come up with an appropriate caption for this… picture.

It’s in your hands people, let’s see what you’ve got.

Thankfully, the Ecclestone in question isn’t Bernie [love ya Bernie, but only with your shirt on] but rather one of his daughters, Tamara Ecclestone. Pictured above wearing nothing more than a checkered flag, Tamara Ecclestone’s new set of racy ads were created for PETA in order to combat what is currently the nation’s most pressing concern – animal rights.

Part of PETA’s “I would rather go naked than wear fur,” Tamara’s dedication to the slightly irritating cause follows in the wake of similar devotion expressed by fellow Formula 1 family members, Jensen Button and the Schumachers.

Personally, I say: way to go Tamara! There’s nothing more courageous then a quasi-celebrity using her status as a public figure to champion a cause that’s completely irrelevant in today’s crumbling society. You go girl!

[Source: Auto Week]

Unlike RideLust’s previous salute to the Auto Show Girl, this titillating pictorial is completely tame enough to avoid an awkward Monday-morning chat with HR, yet still guaranteed to take your mind off the daily grind.

Enjoy, and as I said before, you’re welcome in advance.

Full gallery after the jump

[Photo Cred: Fishki.Net]