RideLust

What color is this? 'Conflicted'

We Americans are a rather conservative lot: the most popular choices for automobile paint in recent years have been silver and charcoal, with about 31% of the market, followed by black (18%), white (18%), red (11%) and blue (10%). If you opted for a natural tone, like brown, tan or gold, consider yourself in the 8% minority, and if you opted for green (like 4% of the unhip car buying population), you’re just not one of the cool kids anymore. Odd, because just 16 years ago, green was the color to be seen in.

Now that we know what color cars people are buying, what does that really tell us about the innermost workings of their psyche? If you drive a red car, does it really mean you pay women to dress in leather corsets, beat you with a riding crop and call you worm? If you drive a silver car, does it mean you’ve got a gun safe full of assault rifles, a closet full of ammo and a well worn picture of Sarah Palin in a bikini? Probably not, and I’d caution anyone against reading too much into pop psychology. Like statistics, readily dispensed psychological advice can be twisted to show anything you need it to. If theis makes you chuckle, good. If it fills you with rage that even a handful of valium won’t touch, you need to lighten up a bit. Buy yourself a new car, maybe in a really dark shade of black.

Silver

Can retro be cutting edge?

You’re elegant and cool and on the cutting edge. You’re a trendsetter, and you’d rather chew your own arm off than follow the herd. Sadly, since silver is now the most popular color choice, it means that you’ve become the very thing you mock. Remember that you’re unique, just like everybody else.

Black

Now you know why mobsters favor black cars.

You’re empowered and not easily manipulated. People had best get out of your way, because you’re damn sure not getting out of theirs. You’re elegant, in a take-no-prisoners sort of way, and you also give your air conditioning a workout in the summer months.

White

Black wheels help hide the brake dust. Not that you'd notice it...

Officially, you’re fastidious, but let’s call it for what it really is: you’re anal retentive. Your sock drawer is the most organized among all your friends, and you probably memorized the Dewey Decimal System by the time you were in fourth grade. You keep a lint roller in your desk at work, in your glove box and in at least three other locations at home. When it comes to cheese, you favor American, even though you know it’s not really cheese.

Red

It says, 'fast, for a Sumo wrestler'.

Sexy and speedy are the terms that define you, even if you weigh 300 pounds and couldn’t run a 10 yard dash if your life depended on it. You’re high energy, but that’s probably from the dozen Red Bulls you drink each day, following the morning pot of coffee. Your friends keep telling you to lay off the blow, but you haven’t done coke since college. There’s a little man inside you bones, and you can feel him hammering away at them. Or maybe that’s just your foot tapping on the floor.

Blue

You don't care that this is a Focus RS; you only care that it's blue.

You’re the same as red, but about ten percent less hyper. Adderall really seems to be working for you, which is why you’ve now cut back to 10 Red Bulls per day. You’ve got a lot of interests, too bad you’re saddled with the attention span of a fruit fly. One of these days you’re going to pick up a hobby, but you don’t know when you’ll be able to fit it into your schedule.

Brown

Yes, rust counts as brown.

You’re down to earth and entirely pragmatic. You’ll wear Birkenstocks with a suit, just because they’re comfortable. You’ve been going commando since you realized you could save ten minutes per week and a hundred dollars per year if you skipped the whole underwear thing entirely.

Green

The ultimate oxymoron: a green Hummer.

Traditional, trustworthy and well balanced, you’ve got friends who drive cars of many colors. Sometimes you’ll throw parties, just to see what happens when red car drivers mix with white car drivers. If you’re a guy, you always wear your tie with a single Windsor knot; if you’re a woman, your skirts are all knee length.

Note: Though I’ve chosen to interpret color meanings in my own creative way, they’re based on real science conducted by Leatrice Eiseman at the Eiseman Center For Color Information And Training. If you want more information on color psychology, check out www.colorexpert.com or eisemancolorblog.com.