Episode 3 started off casually enough with the teams still at Eagle Air Base. Last week if you remember Team Corvette got the boot because of a bit too much show boating in the challenge. What you need to do now is think back to that challenge because it taught us two very important things. First is that David from Team Hummer is not afraid to wheel that thing around and two, the challenges are becoming more complex. This means that teams are really going to have to step it up if they want to succeed.
This TV show is not about going home with your car intact. It’s about running balls-out, taking chances and winning some loot. If you can do this then great, if not, well then, just stay the f*ck home because you have no business being here.
Like I said, episode 3 started off at Eagle Air Field with the teams ready to go head to head once again. Team Wu, in their usual fashion decided that right from the get go they were going to try and throw teams off their game. Clad in blond wigs, fake boobs and two sets of super nipples, Team Wu decided to pay homage to Adrienne Barbeau and Tara Buckman, the two equipment packing Momma’s from the original Cannonball Run movie. The Brother’s Wu tried to out hottie them, but unfortunately Adriene Barbeau was packing too much sweater meat for that to happen. Nice try though boys.
After the retina burning images of Team Wu were gone the teams grabbed their route cards and headed out to their checkpoint in Palo Alto, CA. There was one inherent problem that the majority of the teams faced… no maps. Because of this rumors started swirling as to who took what from whom, and tensions began to build. Both Team Viper and Team Lambo were running blind until new maps were sourced.
A few teams however took the direct approach. Team Mustang stopped at someone’s home and asked for directions and Team NSX actually paid somebody to lead them in. We also saw alliances become stronger as was the case with Team Mini and Team Lexus. Team Challenger and NSX also stuck together which was good because the Duck Pond in Palo Alto, CA proved difficult to find.
After hitting the checkpoint the teams met up, got new cards and headed to checkpoint number two: the Sacramento Rail yard. There was one big obstacle in their way in the form of a ferry ride. Now, Team Wu and BMW managed to get there first, caught the boat and made it across. The other teams got caught up at the ferry station and to make matters worse, once they arrived the ferry operator decided to take his lunch break… what a douche bag.
This leg started to prove itself to be more difficult than anyone expected as now other problems were showing up. Team Mini decided to block Team NSX’s position onto the ferryboat. This obviously tweaked the NSX boys and in a little bit of retaliation Team NSX decided to get back at them by swiping their maps. In their rush not to be seen though they also ended up locking their keys in the car… not good.
The next ferry came and went with everyone but Team NSX. Eventually they did manage to get the door open with a loaned coat hanger from Team Challenger. All of these alliances have pro’s and con’s to them. For example, Team Challenger could have easily let the NSX boys rot on the seashore, but instead did the right thing to help them out. Keep in mind though that by doing this, they’ve helped them live to see another day and thus kept what I think is a very good competitor in the running for the money. This could eventually bite them in the ass.
We also saw tensions rising in the car of Team Lexus as the girls started to do a little squabbling. Nothing major mind you, but it could be a sign of what is to come. After what seemed like forever, the teams finally reached the Sacramento Rail yard where things got heated between Teams Viper and NSX. The Viper boys accused them of stealing their maps, which they may have done… I really don’t know. Dale got pissed and pushed Nick for some added drama and Bill from Team Wu called out Tracy from Team Lexus about being a race car driver.
Now for the challenge: Team Challenger received the best time getting into the rail yard thus not only granting them immunity, but giving them the right of choosing the third team to compete. Coming in the bottom two spots were Team Viper and Team Hemi Cuda so they were automatically entered. When it came time to choose the third entrant, Team Challenger wanted to through in Team Lambo, but once again the Boys-in-Wu snagged the immunity wrench and skirted putting that Lambo through what looked to be a pretty hairy obstacle course. Now that the Wu’s were out Team Challenger had to pick a third and Team Hummer was their choice.
If you go back to the top of this recap you’ll notice that I gave Team Hummer props for driving ability, and why not, they deserve it. One thing that every one out there in TV land should keep in mind is that if you look back at all three seasons, the trucks ALWAYS kick ass. They’re big, brutish and generally have the power to put some serious hurt on unsuspecting super cars when the time is right.
Team Hummer hammered out of the blocks in a no-holds-barred run through a challenge aptly named, Heist. This type of challenge is the one that everyone fears and for good reason. Not only are you driving on dirt but you’re smashing through a plate glass window, running through a chain link fence and then you’re back on dirt again on your way to the finish. None of this seemed to bother Team Hummer as they blasted through the course without a care in the world.
Team Hemi Cuda’ also got caught up in this melee and when it was their time to roll Poppa’ Mark did not disappoint. Obviously as a muscle car nut I’m a bit partial to cars like the Cuda. They have the history and style that puts them in a class all their own. The key however is how will you drive it. Most vintage cars are garage queens, so to see Mark Janos toss that baby around made it an absolute joy to watch. The car looked badass, sounded badass and kicked-ass, which is the way it should be. So Mark, from one vintage Mopar guy to another… thanks for stepping up man… you made us proud.
Team Viper also took their turn at the challenge, but sadly fell short. Remember this paragraph:
“This TV show is not about going home with your car intact. It’s about running balls-out, taking chances and winning some loot… if you can do this then great, if not, well then, just stay the f*ck home because you have no business being here.”
This is where Team Viper lost it… if you’re not willing to put it on the line then don’t even bother showing up. The Viper is a great car but has no business being on dirt, plus its low stance and lack of ground clearance make it almost impossible to maneuver on an uneven surface. Even if Dale pushed it 100% I doubt the Viper, under those conditions would’ve done too much better.
Sorry to see you go guys. I would have like to see what that car would have done on some dry surfaces.