These are tough times for us Americans. The economy is in shambles, our government is run by crooks, thieves and liars and we just shot down a chance to put men on the moon again. Worse, the lawn mower world speed record was snatched from our hands last May, when Don Wales, a Brit, ran 87.833 miles per hour at Pendine Sands. It was almost the straw that broke the camel’s back, and I for one was ready to riot in the streets.
Good news, my fellow Americans: Bobby Cleveland has risen to the occasion and kicked some serious ass in retaking the crown. On Friday, September 24, Cleveland ran a recorded pass at the Bonneville Salt Flats that averaged 88.944 miles per hour. That may have been good enough for the record, but it wasn’t good enough for Cleveland. He went back to work on his 104 Octane Plus sponsored mower, and ran a documented 96.529 mile per hour pass the following day. Score that Bobby Cleveland, and the United States of America, for the win.
Cleveland knows he can’t rest on his laurels, and he’s certain that Wales is in a tea-and-scone fueled frenzy, working to reclaim the title. Cleveland’s next objective is a 104 mph run, undoubtedly at the urging of his sponsor. I wish him the best, and thank him for bringing the lawn mower world speed record title home where it belongs.