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BMW Offers Bulletproof X5 to Protect Owners from Road Rage

Posted in BMW, Car Tech, General, Luxury Cars, New Cars by Dustin May | April 18th, 2009 | 2 Responses |


Are you a paranoid soccer mom? Are you an executive at AIG, Bank of America, or Citigroup? Are you a stereotypical BMW owner? Do you want luxury, performance and bulletproof security? The BMW X5 Security Plus Sport Activity Vehicle is the car for you!

The BMW X5 Security Plus will feature Class 6 bulletproof construction capable of protecting occupants from AK-47 bullets, appealing to Wall Street executives. The X5 Security Plus can also protect its occupants from crowbar attacks, which is critical when in areas that are prone to crowbar attacks on “Sports Activity Vehicle” drivers.


Bulletproof glass and sheet metal are only part of the story. A hidden control console will allow the driver to use an intercom to converse with the outside world without having to open the window and become vulnerable to attack. It will also be useful for telling that homeless guy you don’t want your windows washed without the risk of catching any diseases. An audio-visual alarm system can alert other vengeance seekers to your position, while the hold-up alarm will automatically lock the windows and doors. A rear view camera integrated into the iDrive system is also available. Side view cameras incorporated into the front bumpers will assist the driver in pulling out in front of oncoming traffic.


The X5 Security Plus will get a 4.8L V8 pushing 355 bhp and 350 lb-ft of torque. The 0-62 time is listed at 8.2 seconds with a top speed of 112 mph. The suspension is upgraded to handle the extra weight with upgraded springs and dampers and a retuning of the suspension software. The xDrive system allows the X5 to handle some off road terrain. Brakes, Active Steering, and Adaptive Drive systems have all been updated for the difference in driving dynamics, as well. Run-flat tires will ensure the driver can get home safe…as long as home is less than 90 miles away.

The price has not been disclosed.

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2 Responses

  1. Mike the Dog says:

    It’s what all the paranoid tools will be driving this season.

    The first thing I notice is that all of those little buttons where the cupholders used to be look and (probably) feel identical, making them all but useless in a panic situation.

  2. greenskid says:

    The standard security features of the BMW X5 Security Plus include, in addition to the effective armour plating, distinctive technical attributes that provide assistance in dealing with hazardous situations. An intercom system facilitates communication with persons outside the vehicle, without having to open doors or windows.