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Best Car to Drive in a High Speed Pursuit

Posted in Audi, BMW, Chevrolet, Ford, Lamborghini, Lincoln, Mustang, Zombies by Frank | January 5th, 2011 | 11 Responses |

What would you do if, say, you were being pursued by Nazi SS who wanted to kill you (because, you know, they’re Nazis)? Or what if your daughter was captured by evil communist lackeys who then drove off into the sunset with her? Or how about if the zombie apocalypse happened and the undead masses learned how to drive cars in pursuit of your moist, delicious brains? There are many everyday scenarios just like these that will make it MANDATORY that you get involved in a high speed chase. In order to prepare for such inevitabilities, it’s important that you get the right car. But what car is that?

The Very Best: Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera

It is not just an “opinion” that the Lamborghini Gallardo Supleggera is a hot, amazing, saliva-worthy car—it’s a scientifically proven fact. This car has been driven to speeds of over 190 miles per hour on a one mile track. Let’s see zombies catch you at THOSE speeds!

The custom versions of this fantastic car feature a twin-turbo engine, and the power of 1,000 rambunctious horses. Of course, it comes with a price: about a quarter of a million, to be specific. And a hefty car insurance bill. But don’t just look at the prices…remember, this is the risk of Nazis that we’re talking about!

For the Budget Speed Racer

So, let’s say you don’t have a quarter of a million dollars lying around (or, like so many of us, you have a quarter million but would prefer to save it so you can build your own space ship). There are some blazing fast cars that you can get for a price that even your typical hobo could afford: about $40,000.

The speed of the Ford Mustang, which caps at out about 155 miles per hour, should be enough to catch up to those filthy communists who stole your family. It gets you from 0 to 60 in 4.5 seconds—something that Soviet engineering simply can’t accomplish. All of this comes in at just about $35,000, making it the perfect use for your pocket change.

If you’re especially frugal, you can pick up the 2011 Chevy Camaro RS for just under $30,000, making this a great starter car for your sixteen-year-old. It’ll hit sixty in 6-seconds, tops out at about 154, and it looks really pretty. Other great budget models include the Mazda Speed3, Honda Civic SI, and the Subaru WRX.

The Road Less Traveled

While the options above are the best for highway pursuits, those who are in more rocky terrain and trust their ability to maneuver off-road may prefer investing in an SUV. Have you ever wondered why so many soccer moms choose this option? It’s not for the looks—it’s because they know that it’s easier to avoid Nazis (who hate driving off-road) when you’re piloting a behemoth like the 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Whatever option you choose, just be sure you’re prepared to slam on the acceleration at a moment’s notice. After all, you never know when vicious aliens driving suped-up cars may come after you.

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11 Responses

  1. Nads says:

    I’m not sure, but I thought Kurt was the resident Zombie authority on Ride Lust. He prefers a large SUV with lots of HP to combat the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse.

  2. Turbosrt says:

    Jeep Wrangler – Rugged, reliable, easy to squeeze around trees/zombies, and better on fuel than any navigator or hummer H2.

    Neon SRT4 – Nimble, fuel efficient, 5 passenger, 0 to 60 in 5.3 sec, top speed north of 150mph, and if its a factory stage 3 then move over 5.0 Mustang and look out Shelby and ZO6.

    My personal favorite would be a Ram SRT10. Nothing like a pickup with enough horsepower to move the moon.

  3. There was a high speed chase in OC/LA recently that was started by a woman and I watched it live. She was driving over 100 MPH and driving throughout Los Angeles County and then it ended up all the way in Orange County; she was a crazy good driver! We (me, the newscasters etc) were all wondering what car she was driving, since she was outrunning the police.

    Everyone was in shock when it turned out to be a woman and not only that but she was outrunning the cops in a KIA. Even the news casters mentioned it was good advertising for Kia. I was in shock, I thought it was at least a Toyota or something…

    Here is a link to the story http://www.ocregister.com/articles/chase-271354-montoya-listed.html?pic=5

  4. MrAngry says:

    Kurt is indeed our resident Zombie master!

  5. Ferrum26 says:

    This list is horrendously bad. Horrendous. First of all, anything that can’t go off road can be excluded if your running from the law, an ex girl friend, or the zombie horde. That nixes the Lambo, the Mustang and pretty much all the other trailer queens you mentioned. What you need when you’ve gotta get away is
    -Mitsubishi Lancer EVO – May not have enough room for all your zombie fighting gear, but you’re outrunning em’ anyways.

    -Subaru Forester STI – Fast, bullet proof, and made to rally

    -Ford SVT Raptor – Opt for the Hennessay enhanced Velociraptor package. Nothing can catch you. On any surface. Except maybe the next option.

    -Local Motors Rally Fighter – Just make sure you’ve got it built in time to run. And you went for the biggest BMW engine you could find. http://www.local-motors.com/rallyFighter.php

    There…I fixed it…

  6. Lee says:

    Don’t forget the Bowler Wildcat

  7. ptschett says:

    For the zombies or the Nazis I’ll take a fully prepped M1A2 Abrams tank. It might be slow, but they won’t want to get in range of the 120mm main gun.

    The daughter situation has collateral damage potential, so I’d stick with my Challenger R/T there.

  8. Mark Smith says:

    M1A2 or Leopard with a full load of ammo for the zombies. For the rest, depends on whether the road is straight or has a lot of tight corners.

  9. ds440 says:

    I’ve often thought a fully prepped WRC car would have definitive advantages during a nazi-zombie-apocalypse. Fast, agile, and relatively sturdy. Not M1A2 sturdy….but solid.

  10. Set says:

    M1A2 is useless without three people in it, and you really want four inside. Just sayin’