What would you do if, say, you were being pursued by Nazi SS who wanted to kill you (because, you know, they’re Nazis)? Or what if your daughter was captured by evil communist lackeys who then drove off into the sunset with her? Or how about if the zombie apocalypse happened and the undead masses learned how to drive cars in pursuit of your moist, delicious brains? There are many everyday scenarios just like these that will make it MANDATORY that you get involved in a high speed chase. In order to prepare for such inevitabilities, it’s important that you get the right car. But what car is that?
The Very Best: Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera
It is not just an “opinion” that the Lamborghini Gallardo Supleggera is a hot, amazing, saliva-worthy car—it’s a scientifically proven fact. This car has been driven to speeds of over 190 miles per hour on a one mile track. Let’s see zombies catch you at THOSE speeds!
The custom versions of this fantastic car feature a twin-turbo engine, and the power of 1,000 rambunctious horses. Of course, it comes with a price: about a quarter of a million, to be specific. And a hefty car insurance bill. But don’t just look at the prices…remember, this is the risk of Nazis that we’re talking about!
For the Budget Speed Racer
So, let’s say you don’t have a quarter of a million dollars lying around (or, like so many of us, you have a quarter million but would prefer to save it so you can build your own space ship). There are some blazing fast cars that you can get for a price that even your typical hobo could afford: about $40,000.
The speed of the Ford Mustang, which caps at out about 155 miles per hour, should be enough to catch up to those filthy communists who stole your family. It gets you from 0 to 60 in 4.5 seconds—something that Soviet engineering simply can’t accomplish. All of this comes in at just about $35,000, making it the perfect use for your pocket change.
If you’re especially frugal, you can pick up the 2011 Chevy Camaro RS for just under $30,000, making this a great starter car for your sixteen-year-old. It’ll hit sixty in 6-seconds, tops out at about 154, and it looks really pretty. Other great budget models include the Mazda Speed3, Honda Civic SI, and the Subaru WRX.
The Road Less Traveled
While the options above are the best for highway pursuits, those who are in more rocky terrain and trust their ability to maneuver off-road may prefer investing in an SUV. Have you ever wondered why so many soccer moms choose this option? It’s not for the looks—it’s because they know that it’s easier to avoid Nazis (who hate driving off-road) when you’re piloting a behemoth like the 2011 Cadillac Escalade.
Whatever option you choose, just be sure you’re prepared to slam on the acceleration at a moment’s notice. After all, you never know when vicious aliens driving suped-up cars may come after you.