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Are You a Parking Lot Abuser?

Posted in Beater Cars, Bizarre, Cars, Crashes, General, Parking, Tips, Traffic by Corey | December 13th, 2010 | 10 Responses |

I was heading into the grocery store the other night when I saw something that made my jaw drop. A lady, apparently deciding that the cart-return was too far away, decided to give her shopping cart a solid heave… right through the sporadically parked cars in the back half of the lot.

The cart, as Wally-World carts often do, immediately hooked a left into oncoming traffic, causing a guy to slam on his brakes to avoid a collision. The lady, either too callous or too oblivious, pulled away with nary a glance at the narrowly avoided impact.

Now, granted, I was at Wal-Mart; I don’t have high expectations for the patrons. In fact, I saw not one, but two ladies wearing Snuggies as I perused the aisles.

But it certainly got me thinking. Parking lot courtesy (and safety) is sorely lacking. Few other places combine the confusion, frustration and crowds of both pedestrians and vehicles in motion like a modern superstore parking lot.

So as a public-service announcement, I present to you some insights into parking lot manners. These are insights gleaned from years of walking through the loosely-organized chaos that is a Midwest Wal-Mart blacktop – so trust me, I’m an expert.

Those Arrows and Lines Mean Something

Those arrows at lane entrances in parking lots? They mean something. All too often I have to stop to let some clueless driver who is going against traffic by because they don’t realize that the arrows, and the angles of the parking spaces themselves, are setup to guide traffic and keep it flowing.

Even worse are the people who cut across rows of spaces. A slow cautious turn is fine, but these slowpokes are usually driving 55 mph as they blaze a new trail through the white lines.

I Took The Crosswalk Because I Didn’t Want You To Hit Me

Or alternately titled “Slow the F down!” Crossing the gauntlet between a parking lot and the store entrance has become a deadly gamble. Just when you think the coast is clear, a 16-year-old in their parents Suburban comes roaring past the crosswalk, walkers-be-damned.

Parking lots have people walking through them – people who would not like to die before they’re able to complete their purchase.

Return Your Cart, A$$hole

Parking lots have little cart-corrals spread throughout, providing convenient spots to park your cart after you’re finished. So why do they end up randomly strewn about?

I park in the back of the lot on purpose – in a likely misguided attempt at protecting my car from careless door dings. An unfortunate side effect of being alone in the back of the lot is that my car is usually surrounded by abandoned carts by the time I return, which I have to carefully maneuver around as I leave.

It Isn’t A Better Spot if it Takes 30 Minutes to Park

Whats with the obsession over front-row parking spaces? You’re not saving any time if you have to sit for 10 minutes while you wait for someone to unload their packages and back out – and in the meantime, the seven cars behind you are steaming with unspeakable rage because you’re the guy who’s been driving through the lot like a vulture waiting for a prime space to open up. Never mind the fact that you’ve driven past a dozen open spaces. Never mind that I’ve parked, walked through the lot into the store, found my items, completed my purchase and am now walking back out in the time it took you to park. You got that front-row space; you win, buddy.

So there you have it; four common-sense observations on the degradation of our parking lot courtesy. Take heed and learn from the misdeeds of those around you. And if you’re the cause of these fist-clenching acts of obliviousness, may the unsightliness of a thousand door-dings rain down upon your car as it sits in the front-row space you spent 30 minutes searching for.

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10 Responses

  1. BigRuss says:

    what pisses me off is the asshat who pushes their buggy back to the return rack and leaves it on the OUTSIDE of the rack…. WTF cant take the extra 30 seconds to push it INSIDE…. and having gone to walmarts across the country the worst ive encountered is the “trophy mom” in the suburban talking on her cellphone flying through the parking lot, hit my BRAND NEW truck, hadnt had it an hour and it was back in the shop, looked at me like i was at fault cause i was waiting to pull into the lot…. why cant we “legally” remove the part of these people that makes them do dumb shit?

  2. About the front row spaces thing, it could be that it’s a bad driver who is only able to park in a huge space like me. I can’t park in narrow spaces that most drivers probably could so I will frequently pass up spaces in parking lots and keep driving until I find a massive one.

    Another thing that people do that irritates me is to leave shopping cars in an empty spot so there’s no room for me to park. I don’t want to get out of my car and push it just so I can park.

  3. DaveMofo! says:

    I really, really, REALLY hope there is a back lash in our society against bad manners. Civility could make a come back in our culture if we can get the ball rolling. Articles like these are fantastic! Let’s make it unfucking cool to act like a jack ass, and we can stop dealing with douchebaggery!
    Down with the asshats!!!

  4. eddie_357 says:

    you cant find a place up front because of the fire lane and then its the 50 handicapped places,so just park on the other side of the lot and walk the gauntlet were people back out on you try to scare you out into the lane of the on coming vehicles.no wonder people panic, ditch their karts and run for it.

  5. Nephilim says:

    The biggest thing that pisses me off are boatloads of jerkoffs who lie to get tags to use handicapped spots when they can walk fine. Apparently these folks consider their sheer fucking laziness as a handicap. I’ve seen pickups, H2’s and even a Wrangler all with 6 inch lifts parked in a handicapped spot and sporting the rear view mirror handicapped tag. If you can get in and out of one of things you are in no way, shape or form handicapped.

    I’m not sure how other states do this but in Arizona a person can even get a handicapped plate for a MOTORCYCLE! About a year ago in a (surprise surprise) Walmart parking lot I saw some biker guy use a handicapped spot. He was able to not only mount the bike himself but also managed the 300lb pig of a girlfriend he had on board. There was on old guy in a walker that had to park way out who was understandably pissed and said something to the biker. The biker has the “class” to simply bitch out the old guy and leave.

  6. BigRuss says:

    Nephilim, back when i got back from the middle east i had knee surgery, i had a handy capped tag because i couldn’t walk that well, of course my daily driver was a lifted silverado, had the tag for close to 2 months but after i think 3 weeks i was able to use my leg just fine… think i used my “privilege” 4 times off base… once i could walk with out my crutches i was parking in the middle of the lot just to be safe, now lil over a year after having my knee rebuilt im parking at the back of the lot, riding my motorcycle and just being a typical fuel injected hoon

  7. Corey says:

    @Nephilim, BigRuss: I had “access” to a handicap tag one summer back in highschool – a coworker had an extra.

    I used it one time – I felt like such a jackass that I never used it again.

  8. turbosrt says:

    I parked my SRT4 like a mile away from wally world as I usually do simply because I know how low the shoppers there can be. Came back out and my car was sitting completely alone with nothing around it. Upon inspection $800 damage on the passenger side. Sometimes even being cautious doesnt help. Think they would leave a note or admit their F up? Sometimes I really hate all the pathetic Automatic driving, cell chatting, unskilled, never done anything exciting people in this country.

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