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5 Dreadfully Boring Super Cars

Posted in Featured, Ferrari, Lexus, Lotus, Mercedes Benz, Porsche by MrAngry | January 10th, 2011 | 11 Responses |

Performance cars as a whole have a lot to live up to. They need to have supermodel looks, Olympic athlete performance and a presence that can push Brad and Angelina out of the spotlight at any given moment. Not only do manufacturers need to accomplish this, but they need to do it in such away that people will lay out big money for their creations. Right now the North American International Auto Show is going on in Detroit and within those walls are some of the most righteous creations ever to hit the tarmac. Porsche for instance is there with their stellar new 918 RSR, as is Cadillac with the new CTS-V Coupe SCCA racer. Both of these machines stem from amazing road cars that have not only peaked our imagination, but have gotten us excited for things to come. Sometimes auto makers put out cars that are simply lackluster and for one reason or another, just don’t resonate with consumers. Below is a listing of 5 cars that have outstanding performance numbers, but are about as exciting as watching water boil.

• Lexus LFA


*Photo: Lexus Press

It goes 0-60 mph in under 4-seconds, tops out at 202 mph and reminds me of a Nissan Maxima. A super car like the Lexus LFA should not only excite us, but make us want to sell body parts to get. The LFA though simply does none of this. On the inside it feels decidedly bland and does not evoke the emotion a $375,000 car should. Seriously, I get more spiced up when I see a nicely tricked out Dodge Dart.

• Porsche Panamera Turbo

Porsche Panamera Turbo

I just can’t wrap my head around a car that looks like a giant turtle. On the street or track, these big sedans are nothing short of impressive and can put the hurt on just about anything out there. Visually though, my God, what a travesty.

• Ferrari California

Ferrari California

If you’re female, own a pocket dog and live in L.A., then the Ferrari California is for you. Thank God Ferrari has cars like the 458 Italia and 599, because this little drop top will suck the testosterone out of you faster then Lindsey Lohan can knock back an 8-ball of coke – it’s terrible.

• Mercedes-Benz SL65

2009 Mercedes SL Class AMG

Look at these numbers for a moment: 604-horsepower and 738 lb-ft of torque. People, that’s enough power to pull the continents back together if you wanted to. Sure the Mercedes-Benz SL65 has all the power in the world, but it looks better suited to hanging out in front of a high fashion boutique or night club then at any type of performance venue. If I were the engine in the SL65, I’d be embarrassed of the clothes I was wearing.

• Lotus Evora

Lotus Evora

It’s got the same V6 engine that you’ll find in the Toyota Rav4, it has four seats and styling so bland that it makes a Hyundai Genesis look good. I speak of course about the Lotus Evora, the Elise’s chubbier younger brother. I understand that the Evora is a car intended to have a broader audience appeal, but anything that wears the Lotus name, should be much more exciting to look at than this.

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11 Responses

  1. Taylor says:

    This should be titled “5 Dreadfully Boring Expensive Sports Cars of Derivatives Thereof” as none really qualify as “Super Cars”.

  2. Paulo says:

    FINALLY somebody brave enough to say the truth about Panamera… is like taking a 911 (the most beautiful car in the universe) to those distortion mirrors. Couldn’t be worse. Shame on you, Porsche.

  3. Earth Ling says:

    Rather certain you’ve actually never driven a Ferrari California if you call it boring. Likely haven’t had a good looking girl either with the snide remarks towards females. One day self-righteous journalist, one day…

  4. Old cars says:

    yes agree with @Taylor, those are Expensive models

  5. Tomas says:

    Nice for coming up with a Toplist of 5 boring Japanese, German and Italian Super cars list.
    I want to come up with a top 5 boring American Super car list, but I can’t find a single super car that is American.

    • Nic says:

      FORD GT. DUH!

      • David says:

        How do you figure there are no American made super cars? Does the Dodge Viper ACR not strike you as a super car? Or a Corvette ZR-1? Ford GT?

        What exactly would you consider a super car? Is it not bold styling? Extreme speed? A hefty price tag? Maybe cutting edge technology? Or how about all of the above?

        Where do the 3 cars I just listed not fit into these categories? It is currently an American car that holds the fastest factory Nurburgring Nordshlief lap time isnt it? The Viper ACR?? Yeaaaah, I think you jumped into territory you’re uneducated of there Tomas.

  6. Jennifer Nicole says:

    I agree with you Mike. Having been in the LFA myself, the sounds of the engine (tuned to an F1) and the dash are the only truly impressive components of the vehicle. If the price was set below 130k I’d want one in my garage though. Performance wise I haven’t been able to test it but I hear there is a track day coming up at CA Speedway soon…hmmmmm
    The Mercedes SL65 is a FANTASTIC car for flying under the radar but you’re right about it not having the looks of a typical super car. I would hands down take this car over any other super car for Bullrun or Gumball because while everyone else is getting pulled over for speeding I’d be able to pass on by. As far as fun factor this car is no Ferrari, but over at Gotham Dream Cars we’ve proven that the wheels can spin out in third gear and THAT is impressive! :)

  7. Bamboali says:

    I agree that one or two don’t quilify as supercars.
    I would say that if American Muscle cars like the Challenger & the Mustang GT500 quilify, they are worse than theese

  8. car tips says:

    This super cars for sure are embedded with high-tech features. This really attracts the car buyers. For sure, this truly hit the global market.

  9. Charlie says:

    I don’t know what’s going on in th minds of the designers at Lotus. It’s bad enough that they made the Evora look dreadful — but to “celebrate” the Evora’s looks, they changed the shape of the 2011 Elise to make it look more like the Evora. Foolishly, they did this in the last production year for the current generation of Elises — they’re going to stop the line at the end of 2011. Worse still, come 2015 when the bring the Elise back, it’s going to look like something on the Cylon’s side in “Battlestar Galactica.” http://lotusenthusiast.net/2010/10/2015-lotus-elise-unveiled-in-paris.html