Scheduled to drop alongside the 2010 BMW X6 M at the 2009 New York Auto Show next week, our initial review of the X5 M is far less glowing than the X6’s. Our first bone of contention lies within the fact that the X5 is just another cookie-cutter, breeder-hauling SUV, which we believe to be and a taint on the prestigious name of the Ultimate Driving Machine.

We don’t really have a second complaint, since we think the first one pretty much sums it up.

Of course, we’ll admit that we’re not even attempting to be objective with our analysis, but c’mon, we’re called “RideLust,” not “Paragon of Professionalism.” We lust after speed, performance, power, and jaw-dropping good looks – only 75% of which the BMW X5 M possesses. Equipped with the same Twin Scroll Turbocharged V8 found beneath the hood of the X6 M, the X5 M produces 555-horsepower (408 kW) at 5,750 rpm and 501 lb-ft (680 Newton-metres) of torque at 1,500-5,650 rpm. Although the real world application might yield slightly different numbers, BMW’s projections are impressive any way you slice it and pegs the the X5 M as capable of sprinting from 0-62 mph (0-100 km/h) in 4.2 seconds. Unfortunately, as we mentioned earlier, the X5 is still ugly as sin, which effectively negates any points it earned with its incredible performance.

Bottom line: we’d still kill it with fire, but we might feel a twinge of remorse since it’s bearing an M badge.